真的

如果一个人 可以
如果自己 是好的
那好，我顺服

如果两个人 可以
如果我和你 是好的
那好，我愿意

负荷的回忆
可怜的距离
the difference,
明明这么清楚
对不起 我不明白
还在坚持什么

那曾经错过的
不想遗憾，追逐那自以为的
曾经。
很要好的我们
好朋友，暧昧
只在一线之差

生命不是生活
心里 灵里
the way we were
一个成长的过程 有你我他 还有祂
可不可以
不要来打扰
开心 难过 还有你
都藏在记忆里
这样就好。

PBIM2014

I was sick on friday. I've had a high fever. I was not able to go to class then. I felt so uncomfortable i slept for like 22 hours? Haha I have no idea. I barely can walk, no one was at home that time but I desperately needed a doctor so i went to a clinic just a walk down the street from my apartment. I was so angry when i found out the clinic was closed even before the closing time! So i didn't get to seek for medical help then. I went back, roommate made me some oat, ate panadol and slept it off. Thank God i was feeling better after that night. My body temperature started coming down and i finally had the appetite to eat.

At the particular time, I needed my mum the most. I felt like i was about to die. Haha! and then i got to rest for the day and something came up! A friend called and asked if i wanted to be a volunteer for penang bridge international marathon. I think i know nothing about life and death back then, i agreed without a second thought that i was still recovering. I packed up things at 9pm and went to the bridge with friends to work.

For the first time in forever, I stayed up the whole night, feeling a little weak, from sunset to sunrise and worked non-stop. I was giving out revive for the runners at the station 14. It was an amazing experience! I get to see large group of runners passed us by at the other side of the land, watched them run like it was some kind of performance haha and most importantly witnessed one of the glorious moment of the run- the sight of seeing first runner of full marathon running from afar towards the station without reducing his speed, swooped his hand and grabbed one of our cup, knocking down every other cups beside it and swooshed towards the end like an arrow shot forward. It was totally awesome.

Back then, I cannot understand why people are training so hard to endure the pain and suffering to run the marathon. It was certain that the run will be very painful and torturing. Even for the champion i bet. They need a whole lot of courage and determination to finish the long run. Without the hope that they hold onto, I doubt this would be an easy run for them. Maybe it was because of the glory, the rewards, or the sense of accomplishment that they would get after finishing the line. But i do believe that it is that hope that supported them to complete the task.

It is clear that, everyone need to hope and will hope. But some are perhaps struggling with the reason for the hope that they have. I hope you are not the one. Because when you had that reason, i believe you will run further. and after that night and day, i went back home, feeling exhausted yet contented with the job that i've done. Even though i didn't get any muscle pain from running, but i do get a backache for bending too much to pour the drink for the runners. seriously, i have never open up so many bottles of revive before. and praise to the Lord, i recovered. :)

touched

无与伦比的感动

Liar

If i had only 24 hours to breath,
what would i do?
what would i say?
For all we should have done, maybe it's not too late.
I'd give my love without holding back.
I'd give my heart out to the ocean and under the sky.

But. I am afraid.

骗谁啊，都这么久了
如果让我再次遇到你，
所谓的大方，应该是假的。
对不起，我还不能原谅你，也不能原谅我自己
夺走了那当初的一切
已经不存在了。

God, I know i can't be that far. Keep me safe.

分享

I shared my testimony in the prayer meeting. So why not i shared it here too. :) 

进去神学院接受装备短宣是我从来都没有想过我会做得一件事。感恩的是上帝让我有这个机会让我去经历这么多他的爱。在神学院里当然学习到很多。对我来说有两方面的学习。第一是生命灵命的学习和课业上的学习。我先讲课业上的好了。说真的我觉得很难。我们有很多的课程，例如有灵命塑造，我们在课上学习安静自己，花时间与神亲近。音乐分享，欣赏音乐所创造的美妙历史和带领人来敬拜神，荣耀神。圣经研经法，教导我们如何去查考圣经。诗班，训练我们用音乐来敬拜神。领袖与管家，教导我们每个人都是领导者，要做个有影响力和谦卑的领导者。宣教与布道，教导我们跨文化的宣教历史和需要。护教学，也就是我学习最多的一个课程，教导我们要如何维护我们的信仰，和坚定我们的信心。它让我真的从此也不会再怀疑我们的上帝。

在生命的学习呢，当然是更深层的一个经历。在纪律这方面，我真的学习到很多。我们每一天呢，都是大概430am 起床，515am 早祷会，7am 吃早餐就时候我们需要做工（洗盘，预备食物）我们就没办法早祷会过后回去补眠。8am就开始上课 到12am吃午餐到2pm又开始上课到430pm我们每星期会有一次的园艺和运动。到了晚上又开始上课。拜五呢，我们就会出外布道。Weekend 呢，就是我们去各自的堂会见习，也就是我们去看教会里的运作是怎么样的，和我们从中能学习到什么。我们会去那里的青团，有些得就会去bb/gb, 去那里崇拜，认识那里的牧师，领袖等。大概每一个星期都是这样的重复。感觉很可怕对不对，有吓倒你们吗？

不过，我想说有这两个月的训练才有今天的我。我不能说我现在很好，不过我不一样了。我学习什么叫合一，不管是谁，我们都是神学院的一份子，我们都要同心的一起来祷告，灵修，管理神学院，做上帝的工。像每个拜五的出外布道，牧师神学生短宣生都是一起行动。我们会过后一起用餐彼此交流，分享我们的布道对象。那感觉真的很好，只因我们是同伴，是同路人。我也学习到什么是纪律。我以前很少打扫得。不过在神学院，我们规定每个星期都有个大扫除。所以回到来的时候，只要我看到有不干净，我都会告诉自己，如果我没有清理，就永远不会有人清理它 我就会默默的打扫清理房子。我也学习到什么是把不可能变为可能。在短宣的时候我们碰到National Day of Prayer & Fasting 要40天进食一餐。我从来没有想过我可以每一天进食一餐。而感谢主我却做得到。

我也学习到什么是爱，在神学院里不是一个什么圣盛的地方，它也是一个罪人的地方，但是我们却是一起学习如何去脱离罪成为合神心意的一群人。还有我很爱的苗族，就是我的同伴短宣生，我们14位，每个都是很特别的小孩。少了一位也不行。为什么我会叫他们苗族呢，只因为每当我们讲一句话，比如“你都不在。。” 就会有人唱你不在~当我最需要爱~之类的。所以我们在班上很常会你说一句他唱一句。那时光真的很快乐。我们和牧师们的感情也都很好，他们就好像和我们一样，很可爱，很容易亲近。我印象很深刻的是当我们被差遣要出去短宣的时候，我们需要跪下来在chapel面前和领受智仁牧师的香膏油的时候，就是那么奇妙刚刚好就有14个kneeler给我们。我想说上帝的计划很奇妙，我不会忘记在那里我所学习到这一生的功课。更不会忘记和我一起奋斗的短宣生们。啊啊，我好想他们。 知道大家现在都在外面努力的奋斗，我也在这里，想要继续我们大家当初一起所拥有的热情，为主发光发亮做光做盐。