Wednesday, December 31, 2014

a long post for a new year

This was the previous post that i have deleted earlier on.

Seriously, you're right. Stay away from me. Man, i thought you are different now, or perhaps you should know that you should've changed! After for so long, nope, i honestly do not think that was my problem anymore. I am very certain and clear now that you are just another asshole ive known.

Go, blessings from the bottom of my heart and go ahead. Claps for you. Well done on making me to hate you more. Don't, don't you ever show up in front of me anymore for the rest of my life. I am so done with you. Fullstop.

I admit i wasn't thinking properly at that time. I was outraged, so i blatantly telling everyone the assumptions that i've made which happened to be true and how i feel about all these. I regretted. Not because of you. But I feel sad for myself, because i have turned bitter unintendedly because of you.

That is why it is okay! because you have nothing to do with me anymore! It doesn't matter to me and now when i think back, it is not worthy. I would say it was a public display of stupidity at that moment. lol.

Me. We. deserve our own happiness. We lost something and yet we gained much more than we've ever needed. God is good, all the time. So here's a few of the things that i would really want to share.

1. I have resent much and mourn too much on my distorted life and i promised i would quit that. Things that we did in our life has its consequences. The past would sometimes haunt you and you would just wished you've never even started. But thank God, i am trying very hard and keeping strong to alter it back. I am grateful i am making some progress.

2. I have never celebrated birthday until the next day and the next next day. lol. omg, it was pretty awkward until i had to block my timeline from people posting onto my wall wishing me happy birthday *which is actually a belated one.! lol. I would say i am really happy that people are being sincere to give me their blessings and yet feeling expressionless for wishing me on the wrong date. But oh wells, i appreciate all of it and i am really thankful!!! Especially those who really remembered, I deeply appreciated it and all the gifts, they were all very amazing. I couldn't ask for more.

3. I really would like to thank a few people. My best girlfriend, she accompany me throughout the whole time, the bad and the good. couldn't have live without her. My close friend, even though he's being a jerk at times but still, i appreciate him for being there. My mentor a.k.a my advisor, taught me so much on handling ministry and the church. He's going back hometown to get married soon so i would definitely miss his presence here. All of my friends are being really lovely and you all made my life complete! My dad and mum, they are the best. They're my source of happiness. and God, definitely, He is life.

4. How could i forget to mention, my theme of the year. Honesty. Yeap, the theme i have set in the beginning of the year. hm, i think i do it okay! At least, I am not sorry for who i am today. and God, i hope you are pleased too.

5. I certainly am aware of the things that happened in msia this year. The catastrophes that made everyone in msia feeling distressed and weary in many ways. I truly feel bad for what happened. I can only pray for more hopes, in them and in me myself.

6. Our fathers discipline us for a little while as they thought best, but God disciplines us for our good, that we may share in his holiness. No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it. Heb 12:10-11. He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the hearts of men, yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end. Ecc 3:11  Wait on the Lord as His timing is perfect. :)

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

1 comment:

  1. happy new year dearie~ you're such a good girl~ hope you have a year that Daddy God always walk with you, no matter good or bad.. =) emmanuel~ xoxo

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