Music

USM Jazz Band you rock! Yesterday's night concert was a blast! Ive been to their concert for two years straight. I was still feeling very enthusiastic. It always gives me an impulse to motivate myself to brush up my music skills.

Feeling ashamed, i always did not manage to keep up my training on instruments. I played the piano, for like 7 to 8 years and then stopped playing. At that time, i played that three exam sheets repeatedly for one whole year just to pass for the next level. And so, I got bored of the exams that i need to take every year. I got bored of the classic songs that i was forced to play each time. When the interest in piano was getting less and less, i'm not happy in doing it, so i quit. There goes my piano left in my house collecting dust.

I played piccolo and flute, during my secondary school. Both piccolo and flute are quite the same thing, as the only different is the pitch difference and size. I joined marching band in school. That was one of my glorious moments and awesome memories. I really enjoyed music band in school where we can all indulge in playing different kinds of music and perform together as one. That feeling of playing one sound by 60 of us and win the crowds' heart and applause was indescribable. So when i left secondary school, i stopped playing as well.

I tried a lot of instruments to make me last in one particular instrument and be good at it. The percussion, violin, and more of the woodwinds. But i always give up in the end, thinking i am not suitable for it. And now, i am playing the guitar. Not yet giving up, i am still learning. I feel very much satisfying when the tips of my fingers getting hardened day by day when i practice. Thanks to my church, they are so willing to give me the opportunity to learn and taking a step ahead to serve the Lord. Claps to myself that i get to play a few songs that i want now. I guess as long as i have an aim in doing it, i can hold on to it as long as i want to.

Same goes to theory in life, i always give up on things that i do not like. Or perhaps, i did things aimlessly. I did not have a purpose in stand up to it back then. I did not find it worth doing. But the bible said, I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. Everything that happens comes with a reason. When i have that one particular purpose to keep me going, i have faith that i can do it. And i believe the highest aim that i have now is Christ. The holy one that commanded us to be strong and courageous, do not be frightened nor dismayed, for our God is with us.

Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works and glorify your Father in heaven. Matt 5:16

The most beautiful english word

Have you ever had this feeling of awe when you read a book? Have you ever cried when you came across an upsetting passage of stories? Or perhaps, have you ever wonder how amazing are those combination of words can form such a vivid sentences?

I have.

Literature can led me into deep imagination and thoughts. It's able to led me away from this world for a moment and intrigued me into their stories. Those written words often arouse my curiosity and makes me wonder more. Recently, i have came across the most beautiful english words in the world. I googled it up immediately after ive heard of it. Guess which word is it?

Mother. The one who endures pain and sufferings for nine months to give birth and raise their child. She gives birth to a creation of God. She is the most important person in a family. Who we will be if she's not there to take care of us, to educate us and to influence us. Her love that is so strong and devoted and purest of all loves. She is born to love.

Passion. The first thing that came into my head was the gospel movie, 'The Passion of The Christ'. It was a film that brought me into Christ when i was young. Even though i do not really understand why, what and how back then. I couldnt forget the passion that Jesus Christ had, to save us all, to deliver miracles and to preach the gospel. The passion in Him was so strong that He even sacrifices Himself because He wants the good news to be reach out. He wants us to accept His gift. That cross, is the proof of Jesus Christ's passion.

Smile. Everyone loves to smile. Be it genuinely or pretended. We all do hope to be able to sincerely smile as well as to receive a smile. A smile can be contagious, same goes to laughter. I remember dearest you said you love to see me smile. As if my happiness can also be your happiness. So do i, to be able to look at you and smile, I feel happy. As though we share the same happy moment dear Lemuel. :)

Love. 1 Corinthians 13: 4-8 speaks everything about love. 1 Corinthians 13:13 And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love. Never underestimate the power of love. It is the most powerful miracle that God created for this world. Love can make a country in peace. Love can make the poor happy. Love can fill an empty heart. Without love, we are nothing.

The last one would be eternity. Eternity means f o r e v e r. This word have never came across my mind to be one of the most beautiful word. God is so real. Everything happens for a reason. We often say i love you forever, best friend forever or peace be with you forever. It all linked one thing. That is to be eternally indulge in the happiness that we long for. Everlasting love and happiness. How can we achieve that? By believing in our God, Jesus Christ that we will have eternal life with Him, without pain and sins in our home, heaven. The world is just a journey, the life we are having is just a process, we are moving towards eternity of happiness. Accept it and you will receive it.

4 years

Yesterday's night prayer meeting was again a motivation, an inspiration. God again speak to me. I again, am more clear of what God wants me to do during these time. I believe there is a season for everything, and a time for every purpose. My season now, being in an university away from home, studying a four-year communication course has its purpose and meaning behind. God make me know that these four years are made for me. It is not because of any coincidence nor because of any way an ordinary student should go. These, was specially made for me.

USM, PMVCF, that amazing church, the surroundings and the people was His gift and proof to me. It has been a wonderful and uncountable grace along the way. One and a half year had past. I have really learn a lot and grew. For the remaining years, i am here to prepare myself for God, for His ministry. I strongly believe that, now is not the time for me to go. He is giving me four years to get ready. The things that i need to know and gain are too much. The knowledge and wisdom that i had now is only like scratches. I felt regret and guilt. How am i gonna do things for God when i am not even prepared? How can i say i wanna serve you Lord when i did not take good care of those people who are even besides me?

But within these remaining years, i am going to climb. As a communicator through media that i will be, i will speak boldly in the name of Jesus Christ. And this church here are gonna help me. The people here are gonna accompany me. My God will push me. It is not going to be easy, but i know it's a task for me. I gave myself a promise. After these four years, i must be ready. Then, i will once again ask You Lord, to send me.

The bible, their stories.

For the past few weeks, i once again read the bible from Genesis till Kings for now. God again make me see who we are through their stories. Abraham, Jacob, Moses, Samuel, Saul, Joshua, David. All these people went through their glorious moment with God as well as the darkness hours in their life.

Abraham, the Father to descendants as many as the star. He showed as much faith as he could, he even trusted in God to hand over his only son, Isaac as a sacrifice. Although i do not like where he went to bed with his servant and not having enough faith in God to wait for Sarah's pregnancy, I am still amazed by how he's willing to rescue Lot who determined to leave Abraham and walk towards Sodom, the city of sin.

Moses, renowned character who brings more than ever miracles in bringing Israelites out of Egypt, away from slavery. He success in delivering God's miracles to His people. God is with him always. God told Moses to rule His kingdom through His commandments on a rock. God appeared to Him numerous times. But yet he did not get to the promised land. For he too sinned.

Samuel. The great prophet, who obeys Lord's commandment and loved by many. But he failed to bring peace in the people until Samuel was forced by the nation to anoint a king for them. The people love Samuel but not God. They want a king instead of God. And so, God allow them to make a king.

Saul, the first king anointed by God. A king who God is with him. With the power God gave, he colonize a lot of cities and did a great job in being a success king until the greed in him grew. He truly had done a lot to glorify God. But then, he got jealous of David, who appears to be having more faith in God and got obsessed in killing him.

I love David. The psalms that He written is so beautiful. God loved him so much as well. He listened and obeyed God. His work in protecting God's kingdom is remarkable. Even Jonathan, Saul's son loved him very much because of his faithfulness. Even so, human are always weak. David is vulnerable to women. He sinned because of his lust to women. Even to his beloved warrior, Uriah's wife, Bathsheba. Therefore, God was again disappointed.

I strongly believe the bible defines who we are. Even character like Samson and Rahab have their stories to be told for a purpose. I am grateful. I am blessed. We are not living in thousands years ago. We need not to suffer like our ancestors. Jesus Christ had came before us. But we live in a world full of temptations, just like them who are fighting for cities, throne and power struggles. It is no difference in having the same faith like them in order to glorify God's name. Jesus will come again. Till then, learn as much as possible, and be a better self for His kingdom.

Shall fight.

I prayed for that young lady i saw in the airport today. Such a familiar face but i barely know her. I prayed that God continue to bless her to stay stronger and being bold for Christ. May her heart continue to blossom and bring love to many. :)

And here am i, back in this city which i love and hate at the same time! Ive been repeatedly telling my friend and annoyed him with the fact that i miss home even when i am still in miri. Reality creeps in immediately after ive touchdown penang. Phone calls straightaway coming in for doing work in uni as well as for the church. Gah, life. Well, it does keep me busy and fulfilling. I know that it's time tho, for me to speed up.

Coming week's schedule is frightening. Just looking at my planner on things that are needed to accomplish can cause fearrrrrrrr! and yet, i am running away. don even wanna look at the piles of readings that i should read. don even wanna take out my books from my luggage!
But deep down, i believe God will bring me through, like He always will. Tough days will eventually past without realizing it. God has been really kind to me. I shall fight! Not just merely fight, i. will. do. it. excellently!!

ps. at the same time, allow me to have the mood to miss my family and dearest you. :P

Being with you, i feel so happy-

Little surprise

Ive been playing around with family and friends for the past few days since the day i was back in my hometown. It's time to catch up on your assignments wen! :( But oh well, i had fun!

Ive been telling everyone that my quota limit has reached! I needed to go back home, to see him, to see my family. So i straight away booked a flight to come back home right after camp! Happiness overload when there's family around to chit chat and to goof around. Teehee. I spent a lot of time together with dad and mum tho. We went to shop groceries together, we cook together, talk nonstop on the dining tables for hours. I feel more blissful when me and my mum packed some old clothes to give away to those poor. She saw two teenagers lingering around outside, dressing in rugged clothes and dirty shoes. I was still in bed. Then she came in and ask me to pack some old clothes for them. We gave away a whole bag and that young girl immediately took out my shoe and wear them. It was saddening tho, to see such a view. To know that i am the blessed one, i thank God. I have a shelter and a family to lean on, i thank God. It occurs to me again, that we can help as much as possible to those people in need. May we never leave anyone to suffer alone and keep on bringing loves into this world. Be it a little effort, a little can change a person, who knows?

And you! dearest lemuel, it's so much fun to give you that little surprise! i can still remember how you said i almost gave you a heart attack! I must make this a memorable one cause ive been missing you for so so long. Misses to you never decrease even if we talked on the phone everyday, even if we skyped for hours. Weird thing is, even when i am at home already, i still misses you when you're at work. I always can't wait to fetch you from work and then we go play around again! 

I must say life is good now. I doubt how it is on sunday. :/ i am afraid to leave again. and the next comeback will be on next year. Hm, for now, let's work on the assignments and enjoy the rest of the holidays that you had alright? :)

30 hours

5! 4! 3! 2! 1! BREAK FAST! This countdown is the most amazing countdown ive ever experience! be it chinese new year nor my birthday nor new year eve, nothing can compare with this ultimate countdown. ever! i still couldnt forget the feelings for the past 30 hours. How amazing is the Lord, we all, every one of us, survived 30 hrs with an empty stomach, and none of us feel sick nor have terrible feelings! Glory to the Lord.

Famine 30. was our precious hard work. Together with all the other committees, we spent endless nights planning the program, one activity after another, amending the tentative timetable to make it better and better, praying for people to supportively join this camp, and then leading the full 30 hours in anxiety and but yet with happiness.

Luke 4:4 Jesus answered, 'It is written: Man shall not live on bread alone.'

I held on to this verse for the past 30 hours. I can say the progress of preparing this camp are hard to come by, it is not easy. When we thought we couldnt make it to that 30 hours with hunger and running the program, when we need to deal with our academics and this event at the same time, when some of the campers felt scared and pull out, we almost got beaten! But the Lord showed us grace all along, guiding us step by step at a time. 

The Lord, our God led us as a team. He helped us to learn to be a leader in deciding things and a follower in listening to advices. He provided us with awesome weather during this raining season. He gave us enough participants and volunteers who are very supportive and very brave. It brings me to tears when i hear all of the sharings during the closing ceremony. The feeling of grateful and being so blessed is so real. He also gave us time and a lift in energy for exams. Not only that, He even created a group of prayer warriors to pray for us. Most importantly, He is with us, taught us the verse above and make sure we don feel uncomfortable during the whole camp. 

I know we have flaws too. Things arent perfect as it is at times. We do whined and feel exhausted. Maybe some of us might have a few times thoughts of giving up. But we all had that one purpose to achieve. We are the blessed one. We have the chance to know God, declare Jesus as our Saviour and enjoy His grace. But how about those who are poor? who are still struggling for a living, fighting hunger for a long long period and only had one small bread to sustain the day. How about those who have not known to God? We are here to acknowledge those people, to serve the nation, to make a difference to this world. Be it a little difference, we can do it if we asked God to send us. We are all the same, and none, no one! should feel the hunger this way.  I am sure they are bearing the sufferings more worse than what we had. Now i thank God i get to know a little bit of how those kids and people feel in those third country. Always remember, we eat to live and not live to eat. 

Ps. This is when we were preparing food to break the fast. The temptations is like so so huge! I couldnt forget how we wanted to lick all the spoons and plates that are used and have a bite even on those food that dropped on the floor! So much fun.