Thursday, March 26, 2015

Stop waiting

1. She's got too much to do and too much to think so she never sit around, waiting for you to call.
2. She's got a busy life and a lot of things is going on, so she has no time to even think solely about her dating life.
3. She's comfortable enough with herself and confident enough to know that if you like her, you will call her. And if she likes you enough, she'll call you too whenever she pleases.
4. She's also extremely aware that if it wasn't meant to be, she'll be happier with someone else.
5. Because she's not going to waste her energy on someone who does not bother and she's going to get over it real fast.
6. At the same time, she has no problem being upfront about who she is and what she wants so she will not waste her time playing games with you.
7. She's not looking for someone to support her financially. She's looking for someone who's going to support her emotionally and mentally.
8. And she's not afraid to share her own support and encouragement too.
9. She knows that she will make mistakes and will not be correct in everything she said but she does believe she has a right to her own opinions.
10. But don't worry, she's not against dating. She doesn't hate men. She loves dating. She enjoys romance. She wants to find someone to share her life with. She simply knows how to balance things out in order to keep herself feeling fulfilled and happy.

Sunday, February 15, 2015

maybe not

Why the secrecy? or maybe it is not a secret anymore. Tell you what, yesterday was the last night i actually cared about both of you. I do not know why do i bother so much. But hey, maybe i  just want to cherish the friendship! At least for all the good times we had. Be it the girl and you, the boy. I just feel pity for the girl, she must have been bitter to have to hide and really, you two are doing this to yourselves.

I am just a little disappointed why can't you two be open about it. It is not a bad thing and i'd certainly give you my best wishes. Sincerely! and for your information, I knew it since last year. It was only months after the tragedy happened. I knew it a long time my dear friends. I even saw the picture of you two. You see, all you guys are doing are frankly speaking, utterly childish. But! i know it is none of my business.

What i'm proposing is, I just wanna let you know I moved on, so you two should too. Don't be stucked in the future. Just some advice from at least once were your friend. But okay, i feel stupid enough to even care at all what you two do. Anyways, if you wanna hide, so be it. Please don't make any of these sounds more like a joke.

:) thank you and best wishes.

Wednesday, December 31, 2014

a long post for a new year

This was the previous post that i have deleted earlier on.

Seriously, you're right. Stay away from me. Man, i thought you are different now, or perhaps you should know that you should've changed! After for so long, nope, i honestly do not think that was my problem anymore. I am very certain and clear now that you are just another asshole ive known.

Go, blessings from the bottom of my heart and go ahead. Claps for you. Well done on making me to hate you more. Don't, don't you ever show up in front of me anymore for the rest of my life. I am so done with you. Fullstop.

I admit i wasn't thinking properly at that time. I was outraged, so i blatantly telling everyone the assumptions that i've made which happened to be true and how i feel about all these. I regretted. Not because of you. But I feel sad for myself, because i have turned bitter unintendedly because of you.

That is why it is okay! because you have nothing to do with me anymore! It doesn't matter to me and now when i think back, it is not worthy. I would say it was a public display of stupidity at that moment. lol.

Me. We. deserve our own happiness. We lost something and yet we gained much more than we've ever needed. God is good, all the time. So here's a few of the things that i would really want to share.

1. I have resent much and mourn too much on my distorted life and i promised i would quit that. Things that we did in our life has its consequences. The past would sometimes haunt you and you would just wished you've never even started. But thank God, i am trying very hard and keeping strong to alter it back. I am grateful i am making some progress.

2. I have never celebrated birthday until the next day and the next next day. lol. omg, it was pretty awkward until i had to block my timeline from people posting onto my wall wishing me happy birthday *which is actually a belated one.! lol. I would say i am really happy that people are being sincere to give me their blessings and yet feeling expressionless for wishing me on the wrong date. But oh wells, i appreciate all of it and i am really thankful!!! Especially those who really remembered, I deeply appreciated it and all the gifts, they were all very amazing. I couldn't ask for more.

3. I really would like to thank a few people. My best girlfriend, she accompany me throughout the whole time, the bad and the good. couldn't have live without her. My close friend, even though he's being a jerk at times but still, i appreciate him for being there. My mentor a.k.a my advisor, taught me so much on handling ministry and the church. He's going back hometown to get married soon so i would definitely miss his presence here. All of my friends are being really lovely and you all made my life complete! My dad and mum, they are the best. They're my source of happiness. and God, definitely, He is life.

4. How could i forget to mention, my theme of the year. Honesty. Yeap, the theme i have set in the beginning of the year. hm, i think i do it okay! At least, I am not sorry for who i am today. and God, i hope you are pleased too.

5. I certainly am aware of the things that happened in msia this year. The catastrophes that made everyone in msia feeling distressed and weary in many ways. I truly feel bad for what happened. I can only pray for more hopes, in them and in me myself.

6. Our fathers discipline us for a little while as they thought best, but God disciplines us for our good, that we may share in his holiness. No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it. Heb 12:10-11. He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the hearts of men, yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end. Ecc 3:11  Wait on the Lord as His timing is perfect. :)


Sunday, November 30, 2014


如果一个人 可以
如果自己 是好的

如果两个人 可以
如果我和你 是好的

the difference,
对不起 我不明白


心里 灵里
the way we were
一个成长的过程 有你我他 还有祂
开心 难过 还有你

Sunday, November 16, 2014


I was sick on friday. I've had a high fever. I was not able to go to class then. I felt so uncomfortable i slept for like 22 hours? Haha I have no idea. I barely can walk, no one was at home that time but I desperately needed a doctor so i went to a clinic just a walk down the street from my apartment. I was so angry when i found out the clinic was closed even before the closing time! So i didn't get to seek for medical help then. I went back, roommate made me some oat, ate panadol and slept it off. Thank God i was feeling better after that night. My body temperature started coming down and i finally had the appetite to eat.

At the particular time, I needed my mum the most. I felt like i was about to die. Haha! and then i got to rest for the day and something came up! A friend called and asked if i wanted to be a volunteer for penang bridge international marathon. I think i know nothing about life and death back then, i agreed without a second thought that i was still recovering. I packed up things at 9pm and went to the bridge with friends to work.

For the first time in forever, I stayed up the whole night, feeling a little weak, from sunset to sunrise and worked non-stop. I was giving out revive for the runners at the station 14. It was an amazing experience! I get to see large group of runners passed us by at the other side of the land, watched them run like it was some kind of performance haha and most importantly witnessed one of the glorious moment of the run- the sight of seeing first runner of full marathon running from afar towards the station without reducing his speed, swooped his hand and grabbed one of our cup, knocking down every other cups beside it and swooshed towards the end like an arrow shot forward. It was totally awesome.

Back then, I cannot understand why people are training so hard to endure the pain and suffering to run the marathon. It was certain that the run will be very painful and torturing. Even for the champion i bet. They need a whole lot of courage and determination to finish the long run. Without the hope that they hold onto, I doubt this would be an easy run for them. Maybe it was because of the glory, the rewards, or the sense of accomplishment that they would get after finishing the line. But i do believe that it is that hope that supported them to complete the task.

It is clear that, everyone need to hope and will hope. But some are perhaps struggling with the reason for the hope that they have. I hope you are not the one. Because when you had that reason, i believe you will run further. and after that night and day, i went back home, feeling exhausted yet contented with the job that i've done. Even though i didn't get any muscle pain from running, but i do get a backache for bending too much to pour the drink for the runners. seriously, i have never open up so many bottles of revive before. and praise to the Lord, i recovered. :)

Monday, November 10, 2014


If i had only 24 hours to breath,
what would i do?
what would i say?
For all we should have done, maybe it's not too late.
I'd give my love without holding back.
I'd give my heart out to the ocean and under the sky.

But. I am afraid.


God, I know i can't be that far. Keep me safe.