December

2013 is coming to an end and so, i asked myself, is 2013 a good year? The answer i had was.. not really. I cannot explain why i do not have a great feeling towards this year, but i guess the only reason why is merely because i have an ungrateful heart. Oh dear wen, why?!

I know, i should have been more thankful. Feeling rather upset and dissatisfy, there's a voice keep telling me to stop all the studying and urge me to spent some quiet quality time with myself.. with God. After i listened to a few songs, read the bible, i then went off wandering about things that ive did recently. Guess what, I had the worst Christmas ever. How so? I was too caught up with serving. I had too much to do. I sang for the church choir, I danced for the christmas dance and I acted as the shepherd. For that, i changed my attire completely for 4 times! I couldnt indulged myself faithfully in praise and worship nor listened completely to pastor's preaching as i was too too busy with preparing for the next show. God, on that very special day, You came to me Yourself to teach me this valuable lesson. The one thing that i do not want to miss out is You and yet, what have i done. I was lost. But thank God You found me. You made me stop. You made all of us stop. To stop just performing but to offer ourselves to you. Completely. Only then, You are pleased. Only then, You accept us. Thank You for still being with us and showed us Your grace when we were lost. Thank You for being such a sovereign God. We all learned, until forever and always.

 I still thank God for all of them. I am very happy we learned and grow. Together. We wanted to shine for Him. As we love each other because God first loved us.

 At least, ironwoman on this Christmas would still like to say Love You! :*

Two days after, i had my 21st birthday! WOOTS! On the contrary to Christmas, i had a great birthday! Everyone was being so so so so so so LOVING! 

Daddy before that have been calling me and said wanted to come penang and help me celebrate. But after all, he still couldnt make it. He was being so loving to urge me to go out and celebrate. Mummy too, calling me 宝贝 and said the sweetest thing ever! :') 超级无敌感动的啦啦啦. 

Being alone, away from home on this day was miserable. But! God didnt let me down! He sent so many angels to be around me and cheer me up. 

Dearest Lemuel made the most wonderful confession video ever and Lemuel's dad sent the most encouraging text messages ever! Very very sweet. 

Lovely girl friends stayed up late, went all the way out from campus just to come and surprise me with cake and birthday presents on 12am. 

Thank you sweethearts, Wendy, Carol, Jac, and Ah Choon woke up early just to bring me to breakfast. Thank you Choon for giving me another surprise out my door knob, and Carol for the amazing handcrafts.
Thank you wanlong and eeping for spending their time despite exams with me for dinner. Cheese tarts from dearest hui en and zu en! ♥

Calls from Bali! Della! mwahs! Calls from Sabah and Miri. Thank you!

Birthday songs from Carynne and Ahbi Wong! 

Hundreds of texts from MGC, great friends and even acquaintances. 

Truly, each and every blessings meant so much. Be it isnt a genuine and sincere blessing. I was touched. Sorry if i didnt manage to reply all of it but I read all of it! I still appreciate each and every of it alot alot. Nothing could be better than all these. :')

 It doesnt have to be big. It doesnt have to be loud. It doesnt have to be many. All i need is a sincere heart and a genuine blessing. :) Thank you for being such a great friends.

长大咯, 感谢上帝一路的看顾和保守. 让我能在神的慈爱里成长. 感谢祂不断的教导和塑造 指引我人生目标 调教我对祂的忠心. 让我更认识这世界. 因你 我能活出我自己 我得着自由 我找到了那永恒的爱. 父啊, 但愿, 我能在你的国度里成为你的精兵 让我继续的装备我自己 成为合神你心意的女儿. 奉主耶稣基督名所求. Amen.

ps. and so, i think i had a good year albeit all the shortcomings. :)

Blessed Christmas Eve

John 3:16 For God so loved the world He gave His only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life.

As a christian, we are so familiar to this verse. But not everyone of us do know the meaning behind. God love us so much that He become man so that we can experience genuine love. He come not to condemn but to save. He wants us to experience the love of God, to truly accept the love and to make a changes in our life away from sin. Isn't this an amazing love romance story?

What is sin? We sin when we do not obey God. Agree? The moment sin entered into our world is when Adam and Eve first sin when they do not listen to God. They did not do what God tells them to do, which is to not eat the fruit that God do not let. There, they sin. And it makes me think of the world today. The sin that the world created. All because of disobedient to the word of God. Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, Transexual, that they called it true love and demand for a rights to love. But ya know, the fact is we hardly get true love from human. Because human sin in whatever way in this world now. And it is super scary of how the world have become today when we do not obey God. 

I somehow believe in fairy tale's story that it all ends with the message that true love is the most powerful magic in the world. Familiar? True love kiss that break all the curse in those magical land and so forth. I might be influenced by the movie Frozen that ive watched recently but it is so true. There is no fear in love. 1 John 4:18 As long as there's love, 'true love', everything in this world can be casts out. And the true love im mentioning here is the love of God. The love that gave us hope and faith. Love that brings a family harmony, a couple patch up, a beggar with food, a crippled with help, unity and peace among the countries as well as the happiness around over the world.

In Christ, we are forgiven, for the love of God in this Christmas changes our life through the birth of Jesus Christ, the mighty Savior, the Messiah. God is the reason why we want to walk towards brightness and become better and better. It doesnt mean that we do not fail ever again, but it means He gave us everlasting peace with Him, knowing that Immanuel, He will be with us through hard times. And the greatest of them all, is to have a purpose in life. Knowing the love of God gives us a purpose in life, to love because God first loved us. To serve because God saved us.

This is how blessed we are. We know the beginning and we know the end. Only then, we can celebrate a great silent night and wonderful christmas! Woots! Happy Christmas! :*

喜欢

想念 你温柔的声音 大大的双手 温暖的拥抱

亲爱的 多么希望 此刻 你能在这里 

We're apart by thousands kilometres, approximately 5 hours of flight. Not far, but Miri seems like at the end of the world this time. I couldnt go back home. I felt really sad, knowing that you are not going to be with me for this coming Christmas, birthday, and new year. I have to admit it's really disappointing! Few days ago, i was still putting up hope that we might meet each other at least for a few days. But it seems, the condition now doesnt allow us to. With the all the christmas event that's ongoing here, air ticket flying back home which cost alot more expensive than going abroad, and final exams that are drawing nearer and nearer. We just couldnt do anything. :/

I love seeing pictures of those people flying back home and have their sweet time together with their loved ones. It is so heartwarming. Ya know, having the chance to cuddle together, to exchange presents, and to celebrate this festive together is truly a blessing. Appreciate it, it's the best thing in life. Nothing could be better than being together.

Dear ah,
我好想继续这样喜欢你下去
好想祈祷上帝继续保佑我们　祝福我们
好想这一切开始是你 以后也是你
好想回忆里有你 未来也都是你
你说好吗？　;)

可怜

可怜的是 你把他当朋友 他却把你当敌人

难道非得争得你死我活吗 对不起 我不奉陪

你爱玩你的心机游戏 我过我的平静生活 

请勿打扰 因我厌恶你恶心手段

难道心机重的人不知道自己心机重吗

Pathetic. 没有一个人需要向谁交待 没有一个人需要取得谁的喜悦 

俗说：懂我的人不必解释，不懂我的人何必解释

求你 离开我的视线 免得我愤怒 得罪了神 

曾经何时 你开始计较 开始你哪闻起来就像腐烂掉的骨头般的嫉妒

多么的不堪 

多久了，没这么的生气一个人

多久了，藏在心底不断的反思

你和我，根本就不曾站在同一个线上 

但我选择原谅

因为没必要 让自己难受

因为没必要 让你也难受

因为上帝说 心中安静 使肉体得生命 

没有必要 让你来破坏我的思想 

没有必要 让无关紧要的你 来伤害我

我不吝啬 祷告 是我能为你做的 

只要安静 知祂是神

心中自然便能得着平安 

Music

USM Jazz Band you rock! Yesterday's night concert was a blast! Ive been to their concert for two years straight. I was still feeling very enthusiastic. It always gives me an impulse to motivate myself to brush up my music skills.

Feeling ashamed, i always did not manage to keep up my training on instruments. I played the piano, for like 7 to 8 years and then stopped playing. At that time, i played that three exam sheets repeatedly for one whole year just to pass for the next level. And so, I got bored of the exams that i need to take every year. I got bored of the classic songs that i was forced to play each time. When the interest in piano was getting less and less, i'm not happy in doing it, so i quit. There goes my piano left in my house collecting dust.

I played piccolo and flute, during my secondary school. Both piccolo and flute are quite the same thing, as the only different is the pitch difference and size. I joined marching band in school. That was one of my glorious moments and awesome memories. I really enjoyed music band in school where we can all indulge in playing different kinds of music and perform together as one. That feeling of playing one sound by 60 of us and win the crowds' heart and applause was indescribable. So when i left secondary school, i stopped playing as well.

I tried a lot of instruments to make me last in one particular instrument and be good at it. The percussion, violin, and more of the woodwinds. But i always give up in the end, thinking i am not suitable for it. And now, i am playing the guitar. Not yet giving up, i am still learning. I feel very much satisfying when the tips of my fingers getting hardened day by day when i practice. Thanks to my church, they are so willing to give me the opportunity to learn and taking a step ahead to serve the Lord. Claps to myself that i get to play a few songs that i want now. I guess as long as i have an aim in doing it, i can hold on to it as long as i want to.

Same goes to theory in life, i always give up on things that i do not like. Or perhaps, i did things aimlessly. I did not have a purpose in stand up to it back then. I did not find it worth doing. But the bible said, I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. Everything that happens comes with a reason. When i have that one particular purpose to keep me going, i have faith that i can do it. And i believe the highest aim that i have now is Christ. The holy one that commanded us to be strong and courageous, do not be frightened nor dismayed, for our God is with us.

Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works and glorify your Father in heaven. Matt 5:16

The most beautiful english word

Have you ever had this feeling of awe when you read a book? Have you ever cried when you came across an upsetting passage of stories? Or perhaps, have you ever wonder how amazing are those combination of words can form such a vivid sentences?

I have.

Literature can led me into deep imagination and thoughts. It's able to led me away from this world for a moment and intrigued me into their stories. Those written words often arouse my curiosity and makes me wonder more. Recently, i have came across the most beautiful english words in the world. I googled it up immediately after ive heard of it. Guess which word is it?

Mother. The one who endures pain and sufferings for nine months to give birth and raise their child. She gives birth to a creation of God. She is the most important person in a family. Who we will be if she's not there to take care of us, to educate us and to influence us. Her love that is so strong and devoted and purest of all loves. She is born to love.

Passion. The first thing that came into my head was the gospel movie, 'The Passion of The Christ'. It was a film that brought me into Christ when i was young. Even though i do not really understand why, what and how back then. I couldnt forget the passion that Jesus Christ had, to save us all, to deliver miracles and to preach the gospel. The passion in Him was so strong that He even sacrifices Himself because He wants the good news to be reach out. He wants us to accept His gift. That cross, is the proof of Jesus Christ's passion.

Smile. Everyone loves to smile. Be it genuinely or pretended. We all do hope to be able to sincerely smile as well as to receive a smile. A smile can be contagious, same goes to laughter. I remember dearest you said you love to see me smile. As if my happiness can also be your happiness. So do i, to be able to look at you and smile, I feel happy. As though we share the same happy moment dear Lemuel. :)

Love. 1 Corinthians 13: 4-8 speaks everything about love. 1 Corinthians 13:13 And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love. Never underestimate the power of love. It is the most powerful miracle that God created for this world. Love can make a country in peace. Love can make the poor happy. Love can fill an empty heart. Without love, we are nothing.

The last one would be eternity. Eternity means f o r e v e r. This word have never came across my mind to be one of the most beautiful word. God is so real. Everything happens for a reason. We often say i love you forever, best friend forever or peace be with you forever. It all linked one thing. That is to be eternally indulge in the happiness that we long for. Everlasting love and happiness. How can we achieve that? By believing in our God, Jesus Christ that we will have eternal life with Him, without pain and sins in our home, heaven. The world is just a journey, the life we are having is just a process, we are moving towards eternity of happiness. Accept it and you will receive it.

4 years

Yesterday's night prayer meeting was again a motivation, an inspiration. God again speak to me. I again, am more clear of what God wants me to do during these time. I believe there is a season for everything, and a time for every purpose. My season now, being in an university away from home, studying a four-year communication course has its purpose and meaning behind. God make me know that these four years are made for me. It is not because of any coincidence nor because of any way an ordinary student should go. These, was specially made for me.

USM, PMVCF, that amazing church, the surroundings and the people was His gift and proof to me. It has been a wonderful and uncountable grace along the way. One and a half year had past. I have really learn a lot and grew. For the remaining years, i am here to prepare myself for God, for His ministry. I strongly believe that, now is not the time for me to go. He is giving me four years to get ready. The things that i need to know and gain are too much. The knowledge and wisdom that i had now is only like scratches. I felt regret and guilt. How am i gonna do things for God when i am not even prepared? How can i say i wanna serve you Lord when i did not take good care of those people who are even besides me?

But within these remaining years, i am going to climb. As a communicator through media that i will be, i will speak boldly in the name of Jesus Christ. And this church here are gonna help me. The people here are gonna accompany me. My God will push me. It is not going to be easy, but i know it's a task for me. I gave myself a promise. After these four years, i must be ready. Then, i will once again ask You Lord, to send me.

The bible, their stories.

For the past few weeks, i once again read the bible from Genesis till Kings for now. God again make me see who we are through their stories. Abraham, Jacob, Moses, Samuel, Saul, Joshua, David. All these people went through their glorious moment with God as well as the darkness hours in their life.

Abraham, the Father to descendants as many as the star. He showed as much faith as he could, he even trusted in God to hand over his only son, Isaac as a sacrifice. Although i do not like where he went to bed with his servant and not having enough faith in God to wait for Sarah's pregnancy, I am still amazed by how he's willing to rescue Lot who determined to leave Abraham and walk towards Sodom, the city of sin.

Moses, renowned character who brings more than ever miracles in bringing Israelites out of Egypt, away from slavery. He success in delivering God's miracles to His people. God is with him always. God told Moses to rule His kingdom through His commandments on a rock. God appeared to Him numerous times. But yet he did not get to the promised land. For he too sinned.

Samuel. The great prophet, who obeys Lord's commandment and loved by many. But he failed to bring peace in the people until Samuel was forced by the nation to anoint a king for them. The people love Samuel but not God. They want a king instead of God. And so, God allow them to make a king.

Saul, the first king anointed by God. A king who God is with him. With the power God gave, he colonize a lot of cities and did a great job in being a success king until the greed in him grew. He truly had done a lot to glorify God. But then, he got jealous of David, who appears to be having more faith in God and got obsessed in killing him.

I love David. The psalms that He written is so beautiful. God loved him so much as well. He listened and obeyed God. His work in protecting God's kingdom is remarkable. Even Jonathan, Saul's son loved him very much because of his faithfulness. Even so, human are always weak. David is vulnerable to women. He sinned because of his lust to women. Even to his beloved warrior, Uriah's wife, Bathsheba. Therefore, God was again disappointed.

I strongly believe the bible defines who we are. Even character like Samson and Rahab have their stories to be told for a purpose. I am grateful. I am blessed. We are not living in thousands years ago. We need not to suffer like our ancestors. Jesus Christ had came before us. But we live in a world full of temptations, just like them who are fighting for cities, throne and power struggles. It is no difference in having the same faith like them in order to glorify God's name. Jesus will come again. Till then, learn as much as possible, and be a better self for His kingdom.

Shall fight.

I prayed for that young lady i saw in the airport today. Such a familiar face but i barely know her. I prayed that God continue to bless her to stay stronger and being bold for Christ. May her heart continue to blossom and bring love to many. :)

And here am i, back in this city which i love and hate at the same time! Ive been repeatedly telling my friend and annoyed him with the fact that i miss home even when i am still in miri. Reality creeps in immediately after ive touchdown penang. Phone calls straightaway coming in for doing work in uni as well as for the church. Gah, life. Well, it does keep me busy and fulfilling. I know that it's time tho, for me to speed up.

Coming week's schedule is frightening. Just looking at my planner on things that are needed to accomplish can cause fearrrrrrrr! and yet, i am running away. don even wanna look at the piles of readings that i should read. don even wanna take out my books from my luggage!
But deep down, i believe God will bring me through, like He always will. Tough days will eventually past without realizing it. God has been really kind to me. I shall fight! Not just merely fight, i. will. do. it. excellently!!

ps. at the same time, allow me to have the mood to miss my family and dearest you. :P

Being with you, i feel so happy-

Little surprise

Ive been playing around with family and friends for the past few days since the day i was back in my hometown. It's time to catch up on your assignments wen! :( But oh well, i had fun!

Ive been telling everyone that my quota limit has reached! I needed to go back home, to see him, to see my family. So i straight away booked a flight to come back home right after camp! Happiness overload when there's family around to chit chat and to goof around. Teehee. I spent a lot of time together with dad and mum tho. We went to shop groceries together, we cook together, talk nonstop on the dining tables for hours. I feel more blissful when me and my mum packed some old clothes to give away to those poor. She saw two teenagers lingering around outside, dressing in rugged clothes and dirty shoes. I was still in bed. Then she came in and ask me to pack some old clothes for them. We gave away a whole bag and that young girl immediately took out my shoe and wear them. It was saddening tho, to see such a view. To know that i am the blessed one, i thank God. I have a shelter and a family to lean on, i thank God. It occurs to me again, that we can help as much as possible to those people in need. May we never leave anyone to suffer alone and keep on bringing loves into this world. Be it a little effort, a little can change a person, who knows?

And you! dearest lemuel, it's so much fun to give you that little surprise! i can still remember how you said i almost gave you a heart attack! I must make this a memorable one cause ive been missing you for so so long. Misses to you never decrease even if we talked on the phone everyday, even if we skyped for hours. Weird thing is, even when i am at home already, i still misses you when you're at work. I always can't wait to fetch you from work and then we go play around again! 

I must say life is good now. I doubt how it is on sunday. :/ i am afraid to leave again. and the next comeback will be on next year. Hm, for now, let's work on the assignments and enjoy the rest of the holidays that you had alright? :)

30 hours

5! 4! 3! 2! 1! BREAK FAST! This countdown is the most amazing countdown ive ever experience! be it chinese new year nor my birthday nor new year eve, nothing can compare with this ultimate countdown. ever! i still couldnt forget the feelings for the past 30 hours. How amazing is the Lord, we all, every one of us, survived 30 hrs with an empty stomach, and none of us feel sick nor have terrible feelings! Glory to the Lord.

Famine 30. was our precious hard work. Together with all the other committees, we spent endless nights planning the program, one activity after another, amending the tentative timetable to make it better and better, praying for people to supportively join this camp, and then leading the full 30 hours in anxiety and but yet with happiness.

Luke 4:4 Jesus answered, 'It is written: Man shall not live on bread alone.'

I held on to this verse for the past 30 hours. I can say the progress of preparing this camp are hard to come by, it is not easy. When we thought we couldnt make it to that 30 hours with hunger and running the program, when we need to deal with our academics and this event at the same time, when some of the campers felt scared and pull out, we almost got beaten! But the Lord showed us grace all along, guiding us step by step at a time. 

The Lord, our God led us as a team. He helped us to learn to be a leader in deciding things and a follower in listening to advices. He provided us with awesome weather during this raining season. He gave us enough participants and volunteers who are very supportive and very brave. It brings me to tears when i hear all of the sharings during the closing ceremony. The feeling of grateful and being so blessed is so real. He also gave us time and a lift in energy for exams. Not only that, He even created a group of prayer warriors to pray for us. Most importantly, He is with us, taught us the verse above and make sure we don feel uncomfortable during the whole camp. 

I know we have flaws too. Things arent perfect as it is at times. We do whined and feel exhausted. Maybe some of us might have a few times thoughts of giving up. But we all had that one purpose to achieve. We are the blessed one. We have the chance to know God, declare Jesus as our Saviour and enjoy His grace. But how about those who are poor? who are still struggling for a living, fighting hunger for a long long period and only had one small bread to sustain the day. How about those who have not known to God? We are here to acknowledge those people, to serve the nation, to make a difference to this world. Be it a little difference, we can do it if we asked God to send us. We are all the same, and none, no one! should feel the hunger this way.  I am sure they are bearing the sufferings more worse than what we had. Now i thank God i get to know a little bit of how those kids and people feel in those third country. Always remember, we eat to live and not live to eat. 

Ps. This is when we were preparing food to break the fast. The temptations is like so so huge! I couldnt forget how we wanted to lick all the spoons and plates that are used and have a bite even on those food that dropped on the floor! So much fun. 

Reaching out, helping many.

让我先求神的国和义　不分彼此　同心向前行

I'm preparing for the coming praise and worship for Famine-30. wow, Lord. Just how much you have taught me all these, just by listening to your hymns and words. Feeling rather complicated inside. Things that needed to be done is scattered all around. Breath in, breath out. Hearing only the fan spinning, wind blowing and hymns twirling, filling the atmosphere in the room. 

This feelings i had, how i wish i can capture it and store it for everyday use. At times, we often forget how God touches our life. That particular time, is always when we are tired, things doesnt go right, we fall, we cry, we get hurt and when the ache inside our heart didnt go away. That's when we ask for prayers, we kneel down and let go of the pride inside. The pride that we hold on and saying we are strong. Truth is, we cant be strong without Him. I know this feelings that im saying sounds surreal. But no dear friends, im telling you this is real. The holy spirit that captivates my soul is real. The power God, He installs in our heart is real. I want to reach out, helping many. Cause i know, this is the best best gift that we could ever have.

I remember i said, i wish we could all go to heaven together one day. I really wish we all could. I wish you and all of you were with me during judgement day. I really really hope you understand what i'm telling you and think about it please. Give your heart some space and think about it by heart. It surprised me when i realised i wasnt sad when i tell you all these. I was feeling rather eager or enthusiastic. I have a feeling i believe yes, God will hear my prayer one day and that day will definitely come. I'll keep on praying, never cease praying. 

好吗?

他说.. 他说.. 我们只是一群自我安慰的小孩子...

此刻的我，深深能够体会到珠珠的感受. 有了自己的朋友圈，在教会越来越热心事奉，教会占了我生活中的大半时间，感觉上我和神的关系越靠越进. 只是当我再次遇到他，我才发现我错了.

一直以来以为什么问题都没有，突然之间好想知道大家眼里的团契是什么样子的. 很多时候我们都忘记了生命是需要别人一同参与，一同分享的. 当你试着去理解他人，进入他们的生命的时候，你会知道没有一个人是正常的. 想想，耶稣怎么爱祂周围的人? 耶稣不是只在犹太人的会堂里祷告，也不是只在旷野当一个只会祷告的隐士.祂是和人们生活在一起，开心欢乐的时候，大家一同欢乐，伤心难过的时候，遇到困难的时候，大家一同伤心，一同担当.

我想说... 对不起我没能明白你的故事. 没能当一个好姐妹，好家人，只忙着自己的事，没能和你分担你的困难. 我想我们都有自己的一根刺隐藏着吧? 不让别人知道，也就不会受伤害. 但这样是行不通的. 人不是孤单的受造物. 我们都需要朋友, 请再给我一个机会，让我成为你的朋友，你在团契里的家人， 好吗?

背十架的女孩

Store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys, and where thieves do not break in or steal; for where your treasure is, there your heart will be also. (Matt:6:20)

An innocent little girl, loved by family and friends, experiences life maybe more than anyone else could have. Her name is Jacklyn Wong. 黄慈恩. She had a brain tumour in 2008. She was only 10. It was a blessing i get to know her sisters, Joan Wong and Joyce Wong here in penang, who both are staying very strong in Christ as well. I only get to know about these when i came across her stories in church.

What a 10 year old girl can do during her time is playing barbie doll, running around the park and make a lot of new friends. But this little girl, this sweet little girl, she went through chemo, staying strong in health and spiritually, praying and keep praying to God, having faith that God provides her strength and courage to live another day. The love from her family brings me to tears. The letter her dad wrote for her is really heartbreaking. Watching the whole process of Jacklyn enduring the pain and suffering is ripping everyone's heart. But watching her being so strong in Christ, showing her testimony of having a delighted heart even though her days were numbered deeply reminds us of how life we should be living in. 

Through the life of Jacklyn, God let us see His mercy and love. Through the suffering she endured, God let those people who mourn be glad, and through the pain she had, the smile she put on, and the experiences that maybe we would never had, brings faith, hope and love to all the people around her. She's a treasure. A treasure from God to her family, relatives, friends and even to acquaintances who comes to faith with Jesus Christ. 

The video of her life experiences: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SXCvFpSfu08 

Her blog: http://jacklynwongcien.blogspot.com

3rd, be with you.

I was wearing blue uniform and you were wearing a white jacket. We were having sunday school and we happened to be in the same group. That's the first time i met you? in church. I remember you flashed me a smile when we make an eye contact. You happened to be the most devout and lovely man ive met at that time. Everything happened naturally. We talked about me, you, our family, God, literally everything. You became my very best friend. And on that very special day, 10/10 we decided to make a devotion in us.

I was a blur queen. Knowing nothing about love and relationships. It was first love. I have this thing on love. That i wanted my first love to last forever, that i believe God will pull me to that right one to say yes. I couldnt say we had a perfect and godly relationship. We have flaws. Instead, at times we see a lot of imperfections between us. Human's emotions and feelings will cross over and we sometimes would forget God is there. But every fight we had, always reminds me to cherish you more, to learn even better and to love you harder.

How fast the time flies, it has been three years. Three long years i would say, to take time to understand each other a little bit better, to improve to be the one that God wants us to be, and to learn to be the one that we want each other to be. I cant really remember all the details we had. But three years that you've spent with me, is the greatest gift. Time and effort that you put on this relationship, shows love and proves everything. And that little improvement between us deserve a clap. I don know how many years ahead to come, 10 years? 30 years? 50 years? How would we become? What will we be doing? God's speed. For what's significant is the present, the moment to spent with you.

You have been a very loving boyfriend. You flew back from kl just to celebrate my birthday. You remember all the dates even when i forget. You spent a lot of money on gifts and surprises. You tolerate with my temper and silly thoughts. You sweet talk me even when i shoot you with nasty words. You sing for me when i asked you to. You do things when i needed you to. You share with me all your deep thoughts. You bring me back home to meet your parents and family. You teach me a lot about God, about us. Most importantly, you love me when i don even love myself.

Dearest Lemuel,

Long distance relationships are hard. We've been through that and are going through it again. There are many reasons to fight, to cry and to break up. But distance also gives us the reason to love more than any other couple should. We put our entire beings into this relationship and although we may not hold hands as often or hug as often, we will never take those things for granted. Each touch is special, each kiss is cherished. We may be separated by space and time, but the bond between us that will push through the hard times will be the strongest. There may be miles in between, but there is no one closer, other than you.

Love takes time, nourishment, and most importantly combine effort from each other. Let's grow love together. <3

words to share

I love sharing. But i love to listen to sharings even more. Listening to people sharing their experiences and personal encounter with God, that how our Heavenly Father has changed their life never fails to give me a life lesson.

One night, the three of us, a cozy cafe, drinking and eating good food, and we started chatting about everything. From the general opening of how are you to little details about our own family. We barely even paused for a minute. We even had our tears rolling down our cheeks at the end of the night. We feel for each other and encourage each other to stay stronger. Understanding each other is a life long learning processes, but having the mutual understanding and concern is a gift from God. 

When your friends are concern about you, asking you questions on how you are living, you don take it for granted. When your friends are telling you stories about her assignments and maybe her lovely dovely boyfriend, you let her finish. You need a friend, and a friend needs you too. All you have in a friendship will be the connection between you two. I remember there's this girl who always would call me up whenever she feels sad and last week, while i was on bus feeling really blue too when she called. Both of us were laughing at ourselves and i cried on the bus! I don really mind about the crying tho, in fact i feel good after i talked and this young lady is who i have to thank to. 

I read too. People and pages posting up status on facebook and friends app me with all the bible verses truly help in making me grow. Even at times when i didnt even reply a thank you, i still can see words of encouragement flowing in my inbox. Thank you and you. 

Friendship grows by sharing. Same goes to life. I learned, by hearing stories from all these great people surviving in this world with the strength given by God. Let's remember the good thing God has done and let faith fill your heart. Forever and always. 

Love like Jesus

He who covers and forgives an offense seeks love, but he who repeats or harps on a matter separates even close friends. Proverbs 17:9

I happened to read this verse and felt it. I have a few close friends. I love how our relationships are. We were all primary and secondary school friends. It is like we have known each other for our entire life. I love my churchmates as well. Theyre all very loving and caring. They were there to watch me grow spiritually day by day. I love uni friends too, to get to know different people all over the places, to understand each other throughout our uni life. I really am grateful. I thank God, these people that walked into my life, never left. Even when we are all at a different countries, different time zone, we keep in touch once in a while and talked about every part of our lives.

Me and my close friends, of course we do fight, we do tear our faces and shouted nasty things about each other. But eventually, we grew, and learn how to love! Isnt that amazing. That is what keeping them all around me till today.

Love can easily turn into hatred. When you don love from the bottom of your heart, when you don love like how Jesus loves us. In only a split second of your anger and emotions, your so called love can changed into jealousy, complaints and anger. Humans tend to sin like this. It is like you're stepping on a huge cliff, if you happen to take another step without thinking, you'll fall off hurting yourself, hurting people who truly loves you.

Love can covers. It means you don take in offenses and make a revenge out of it. God doesnt do that. God's love covers us, He forgives us. It doesnt mean that you ignore all the faults that have been done. It simply means, you don outraged yourself, pause for a sec to think what Jesus would do at that very moment!

To think how great how deep how high how wide! is God's love, never stops to amaze me.

Unending love

My chains are gone, Ive been set free. My God my Savior, has ransomed me. And like a flood, His mercy reigns. Unending love, amazing grace.

Whenever i look upon God, I will surely look down on myself. Reflect on my old self and see the new self. How ive been changed throughout all these years ive known to Him. Life has never been so content, so meaningful before. I woke up to realise He gives me breath for another day. My God provides me strength to accept what lies in front of me and get it to work. He gives me time to spent on His words, to pray to Him and to speak to Him. The Lord gives me hope to know that He will wait for me at the end of this road. and the life he gave, is to go to the world and preach the gospel to all. Matt 16:15

His love is real, He is indeed real. I just have to open my eyes to see and heart to feel. Please don ever make me forget, how God has led me through, and is leading me to.. that unending love. Cause this love, is what keeps me going on. 

Hi poo

Hi there,

Am i asking too much? Am i doing too much? Is doing too much good? There are billions of questions regarding what am i suppose to do running through my head for like months. Sometimes i want to appreciate and grab every opportunities that i encounter, but sometimes i just want to take a break and let go.

Being nothing is miserable. To know that you can actually do something but you cant do it because you're not suppose to is devastating. God, i pray that you can direct my ways, to the correct path. What am i suppose to say, what moves should i take?

I am not counting what i have done. I am worried what ive done that shouldnt be done. For i want to put myself in other people's shoe. Feeling for them, encourage them and spare their thoughts. Lord, may i not focus on the earth, may i look upon you, Lord and may i do Your will.

Thank you for bearing with me.

words

thank you, thank you all for every single letters and alphabets that pierced right through my heart. those written words and sentences that form one complete emotional essay, as though voicing out for that little heart of mine, whispering in my ears reminding me how ignorant is this little girl.

grace and blessings never left her. God so love this little girl, that she is keep growing. mold by His own hand, becoming stronger and having more courage and faith. turning into a young lady that wanted to live for Him, push herself and run towards Him no matter what's the obstacle is in front of that long track, searching the light and breathing the air He provides when she's about to suffocate and drenched into a lost world.

thank You, for being there all the time. without You, she wouldnt be able to live.

i thank God and am grateful, because He didnt forget to wake me up this morning. and you too. :)

stay with me

she knows, someone, somebody, anybody out there do understand.
will you, stay with her?
and i'll make sure, promise, she will try her best to bear with you,
hold on tight to you and never let go.
cause she knows you will strengthen her, keep her uphold and provide her needs.
i know, you, will never fail her.
correct?
you love her, and she loves you too
so please, dear you, stay with her.
as she wants to continue to live for You, Jesus Christ.

别动

第一站 充满期待的幸福，温暖

第二站 拥抱爱， 满满的喜乐

第三站 诉说心里的喜悦

第四站 小小的冲突

第五站 内心的挣扎 以及坦诚

第六站 ...

会是怎样的呢? 

有时候, 更希望 可以好好的呆着, 别动, 就不痛.

我不怪谁，

只怪自己 冲着上帝要回自己的心

原谅我，我的自私，我的一意孤行

我和你一样， 期待更好的自己. 

human's heart

ive stopped writing. i know.

im going downhill. being back home is great. awesome. being afraid to people, watching out who is really who, guessing people's darkest mind is not. and when this happened, i will hide. avoid those people, places and situation that might cause chaos. i am keep deciding everything according to my own will. as long as im good, im happy. with the only bunch that i love.

nope, this is not good. im of no difference with those selfish people. thinking that, everyone is being okay with me. truth is, i am the only one that loves being together, hanging those blissful faces, and telling those happy tales.

how you look, what to do, what to say, what to feel, all these matters. to define who the heck are you. from other people. how pathetic. where's the true and sincere feelings and thoughts?

Jeremiah 17:9 The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately sick;who can understand it?

the answer goes to the most awesome God.

wen, He knows.