Rejoice

我无法 不能 不懂 如何 开心. 我，不.开.心. 救我，救命.

what do i want. i want to feel nothing but happiness. i want to lie down in green pastures under the bright blue sky. i want to go to the beach and caressed by the sea breeze. i want to watch and look at a full moon with millions of stars above my head. i want to think nothing but God. i want to cuddle in His arms. i want to go home and not think of life.

what do i need to learn. i need to learn how to love people. i need to learn be humble. i need to learn how to be obedient. i need to learn to fully, sincerely surrender. i need to learn how to pray. i need to learn to see God. i need to learn to be happy.

half a month has passed. we are all preparing for christmas. celebrating the season of love, the birth of our saviour, Jesus Christ and preparing for Christ. i wanna do something for christmas this year. i wanna make a difference. i wanna do something for God. 

Dear God, use me. In Jesus' name i pray. Amen. 

'Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, Rejoice.' Philippians 4:4

month of love!

mannn, it is DECEMBER already! can't wait! can't wait and I JUST CAN'T WAIT! to celebrate Christmas! to celebrate my birthday! to eat more good food! to finish my first semester! and to go back home! what's the best thing other than all these!?

Everyone loves December! especially this little girl here loves December freaking much. i'll never let anything to ruin my lovely month. (grrrr, never!) hah, right. anyway, ive been super relaxing these few weeks after ive passed up one of my toughest project. another yet to come but all is well till now. :)

thinking back of what ive accomplised in this year, i do had an amazing blessed year. when i chose to look at the good rather than the bad, i found out i do live an awesome life. thanks to lovely heavenly Father for all the blessings.

1. I went to three countries and a few states in a year.
2. I cut my hair short.
3. I helped my mom at her shop for more than a month.
4. I rear a pet turtle.
5. I learned how to cook.
6. I worked for around two months and quit cause i don like it.
7. I bought cool smartphone and laptop.
8. I got into the best uni in Msia.
9. I always have money inside my purse.
10. I am living healthily and growing stronger.
11. and more and more... uncountable blessings. ^^

Let bygones be bygones, and look upon the amazing things that is happening around you. Simply be grateful and happy cause you are alive, living under God's wings. and of course, because i just got one of the buy one free one subway voucher! awesome! :P

the little Princess

Let me tell you a story.

Once upon a time, in a world full of planets, each planet lives a person. There's one little girl named Princess, lives on this particular planet. She wants to go to Earth. So, she left her rose in her planet and went off to Earth. Along the way to Earth, she visited other planets and met some very odd grown-ups.

First, she met a King. A King who claims to rule over the world with absolute power. However, nobody listens to him. The King lives by giving odd orders, for example ordering the sun to set, to satisfy his thirst for power. When Princess arrived at the King, she is not fooled. She did not take his order and leave.

Then she met a conceited man. The conceited man sees himself as the handsomest, richest, and the most intelligent man in the world. Everyone admires him and loves him. In fact, he is all alone in that planet. Yet he wished to be admired and applaued. Princess is perplexed with such vanity and left to another planet.

In the third planet, she met a businessman. He is a large gentleman who is very very busy until he doesnt even have the time to light up his cigarette. He spends his time counting the stars, which he claims to own. Princess  sees the businessman as wasting his life, not using what he owns by writing down the numbers in the bank. Princess is again, finds the grown-ups to be very disappointing.

At last, Princess reached Earth. No one is there. No humans, no other living things. Then, a snake came and lied to the little girl that if she allows the snake to bite her, she can go back to her planet and her rose. Only then, Princess realised, what she wants and what she needs is different. Important things in life are visible only to the heart, that is her time away from the rose makes the rose more special to Princess. The love, that makes a person responsible for the beings that one loves.

The end.

ps. wait, did she returned to her planet?        

to be continued...             x)

story modified from Le Petit Prince

sincerity

wow! can't believe it is already november. the horrible october that ive been through, and i believe more terrifying months to come, i still am, and will be grateful, God put me in where He knows i belong. I assure you, GOD IS WONDERFUL! God is treating me well all along, bringing lovely people into my life, sending His Holy spirit to make me stronger than ever and granting me blessings that i could never forget. whatever circumstances He put you in regardless the tough times, He will lead you to a brighter road, better path. Have faith.

Through weeks of having a state of mental and emotional strain and tension, adapting and dealing with feelings and emotions, thoughts and a lot more tasks that were running through my head every single moment, i am glad wenwen is still able to carry a smile brighter than the sun and enjoying the breath and blessed moments God gave her.

However, everything has its dark side, including 'everyone'. i think a lot and im keeping my guard up. i was wrong, i was wrong to believe the sun will keep on shining and the thunders and storm will never strike. i tried breaking the walls that ive built around me. but well, human are just not like that.

is it just me or the world is turning into a world full of hypocrites and liars. remember, sincerity and honesty is what you're searching for all along and dont lose it. 

只想要用真心去对待每一个人，只想要用心灵和诚实来到上帝的面前.

不能对每件事都抱着单纯的心，对每个人都以为是真心，对每句话都以为是心意   或许吧...

crazy

痛苦 痛苦! 太痛苦了!!

My stress level is exceeding! Like 349%, so much work to do so little time! Time in uni is insanely fast. Cant breath, suffocated. 9 assignments at one time is crazy man, you know, CRAZY! Too much negative thoughts and workload in hand i feel like crying. Let's just not care about being perfect anymore, i just wanna finish my work. I want ma's chicken soup and i feel like sleeping 12 hours.

凡劳苦重担的人，可以到我这里来，我就使你们得安息。 -太11:28

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anyone?

突然 好希望有个人 可以摸摸我的头 对我说，妏，不哭不哭 主耶稣爱你 我也爱你.

Honestly, ive been feeling really weary lately. I don know if it's because of the assignments flooding in or the dull life ive been repeating for a month! a month! by now. ( I hardly can imagine how my 4 years gonna be in this little island.) I really really wish to go to the beach, and eat an icecream. Not thinking what is in my mind and the world's happening. I just want to feel the sweetness in my mouth and being glad that God saved us all. Do anyone know how i feel? Is there anybody out there, like freaking know what i meant.?

Life is just not like that. Nobody is going to be happy every moment. Life's tough. and im craving for mcdonalds. *depression.

rainbow

世上的花花草草 永远都比不上 天上的彩虹 和云彩

每一朵云彩，都象征 代表着上帝的良善与恩典，玟妏 记住了

Look up into the sky, and you'll realised there are so much more, way beyond what you have on this tiny little earth up there.

A friend reminded me, at the end of the day, you will realised all the things that we are doing now, or are trying to pursue now will just disappear into thin air. 'Poof!' and there's only one person that will stand in front of you with an open arm, waiting for you all along, to give you warmth from this cold world, to bring you eternal happiness. 

So true, look inside your heart and you'll see a hero lies in you. A hero armed with God's strength to carry on and i am glad. so glad that i know, you will win the war. 

God's grace never ends. Mom and dad are so loving. People i met are so caring. What more do i want. 

sadness

Everything is so disappointing. I thought you understand, i thought i could get some attention, i thought i could complain, i thought i could be weak in front of you, i thought so. I feel pity, i needed supports and i needed comforts. What did i do wrong? For being weak? For telling you i needed you? For complaining my rough days? You know you can always tell me your feelings and i did show my care to you. Now i could only hide my thoughts and die. The end.

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dear you

To dear you,

ive read through the love book you gave me once again, and now it is my turn, to really wanna tell you something.

God let us met in church, and amazingly God let us come together and share His love. Having you with me was a wonderful thing that had ever happened to me. Walking with me, telling me about God and you, i feel love. A truly blessing to know such an awesome guy exists. i cant promise i will remember every single moment of us, but i can promise i wont forget the name, Lemuel Zhang Yi Le, how he have turned me closer to God.

Zhang Yi Le's virtue:
1. Love God, trust God.
2. Love family (you wont forget to always buy good food to share with them)
3. Love me (at times, i do feel like a princess :)
4. Sacrifices alot for me, time, money and heart. (dedicated in every present, very diligent)
5. Serious in us. (a man hardly cry, and when you do, you must be in real pain)
6. Pursuing happiness all the time. eventho he's facing alot of troubles in life.
7. Love to spend quality time with loved ones.
8. The smile and laugh that i would never forget. Very attractive.
9. Focus when he's doing something.
10. Show a lot of consideration and give a lot of care to what he thinks is important.
11. Has a goal in life, pursuing it with God. Willing to let it all to God.
12. The look that will always make me feel shy and no one can resists! (dont look at other girls that way!!!)
13. Very cute. (for some lame jokes :P but still, managed to make both of us laugh)
14. Very loving. He wont stop showing his care and love. always super loving.
15. Rational. (Firm with God's principles, Like a man.)
16. As long as his loved one is happy, he is happy and satisfied.
17. The best spiritual friend you can have.
18. Would never force you to do things you are not willing to do.
19. Willing to share God's words, his feelings and his thoughts.
20. Know how to take care of others and himself.
21. Do only what is right and avoid what is wrong.
22. Always think of his family and the loved ones.
23. Appreciate every single God's blessings on himself, aware that He is so blessed.
24. Never stop learning, regardless study or God.
25. Would stay away from things that might hurt his loved ones' feelings.
26. Pursuing strong spiritual life. (Will always train and prepare himself for the better)
27. Being humble and never forget he can be better and better.
28. More to discover.......

Wow, aint you the best my dear? :P never forget, you will be always in here, <3 the heart. eventhough we are apart. never forget, the love comes from God, never dies. Jesus loves you, So do i. :)

Sincerely, wen.

wonders

信是未曾看见 依然仰望十架，信是完全交托 深知主已掌权

我靠着那加给我力量的主，凡是都能做.

USH!!! another day went through with God's strength. Amen! ive been throught ALOT for these few days, eventhough it is just a few days, but ive been through spiritually and mentally fights. thank God, He always managed to tell me, wen, I am with you, cast your worries on Me, and I love you. and wow, that feeling was so blissful and amazing.

but tell you what, orientation suck! gosh, it reminded me back of my national service's life. waking up early in the morning like 5, 6, sleeping late at 1, 2? what's worse? walking! i have been praying and know this will be my biggest fear and i cant believe how ive walked through those hills and stairs and the SUN! having a little rest in between the lunches and dinners was exhausting as well. like a 45 mins rest? that is torturing! and there's one day, i thought i almost died when i walked around 40 mins to come back to college alone. :(

i know i know it's only for a week. but well! IT IS TIRING. haha, and thanks to those who hear me complain like every single second and moment. to ma, pa and gor, to lovely friends, im tired but im alright. God loves me and He sent so many angels, you, you and you to fight for me, to stay strong with me. and dearest you, i know you will always be there and thank you. With God, anything is possible and i have faith, this is just the beginning of the wonders that He wanted to give me.

afraid

"For the Lord your God is the one who goes with you to fight for you against your enemies to give you victory.” 
(Deuteronomy 20:4)

i was afraid, really afraid. the fear within me was so so overwhelming. when i listened to pa and ma's voices over the phone, worrying me so much and ask me to really take care of myself, to call home whenever i need them. and dearest you as well, to keep asking me to stay strong and believe me i can do this. i just cannot stop myself from crying over and over again. i have never felt these way before. God, i have never felt this lost before, i was afraid, i'm sorry. 

dearest you, thank you so much. i really did felt better. i opened up the bible, listening to worship songs, think only Him. amazingly and knowingly, i felt peace. a sudden change in my heart. i can hear God says, don worry my child, i am with you. dont be afraid, you are never alone. He never fails, people. He always brought victory.

sorting out my luggages and baggages, finding its place in every corner of this room. trying to make it feel home. pa's little pillow, ma's bedsheets and little turtle, Lele. Lele is so cute. i cant believe he is that clever to actually climbed out of his little bear's house and running around my desk! but NO! dont ever do that again! Little stuff that i brought awesomely make me feel a little, a little like home.

thank You Lord, who am i, for every of Your words, Your care, Your love. i will stay strong. for You dear God. I must, to give the great glory to You. I love You, Jesus.

你不懂

心灵的忧伤谁了解呢
心里的痛楚谁懂呢
就连最爱你的人也不明白
只有全能的天父能够叫你原谅,忘掉
那忧伤那苦衷

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plans

'For i know the plans I have for you,' says the Lord. 'They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.'

days are rough recently. but nah, i have God and my family. my dad was really cute. Yesterday he came to me and showed me two manggas he planted himself. he was amused by the size of the two ripe manggas where one big and the other one super small. he asked me to take a pictures of 'em. seeing his laughs with those wrinkles in his face, saying 'it's baby mangga ive planted!' i laughed out loud as well.

the feelings of anxiety about life, heartache and emptiness about life had trapped me in trauma. a snag in life can be so vulnerable. im feeling scared, of what? i don know. the feelings of me never getting out of it, or the feelings thing would never be the same.

My God's word is all im asking for now, i keep on searching the answer in His words. and yeah, His words is so honorable, so faithful and so real. i realised the thing is, im not ready to leave. i think i don want to somehow. but just in a few days, ive realised so many things, ive seen so many flaws, im changing inside, rapidly. that you might not even recognized me when you saw me.

dear God, im willing to get out of it. teach me how. fill me with Your words and only You. have faith and watch God's plan unfold. i believe and know it will be far more beautiful than i think it will be. Thank You for all the gracious comfort.

These may not be the version of your perfect day, but have faith that He has a bigger plans for you in due time.

she's home. emotionless

after 20 minutes long drive, she's finally home. taking her jacket's off, putting down her bag, opened up the piano case and started playing. she started playing river flows in you. started it off with soft and dynamic rhythm then vigorously stomping at the piano keys. emotionless. from the beginning till the end. over and over  again. for around 30 minutes. and without realising, tears dropped on the piano key. 'BANG' furiously bang really hard on those piano keys. end of story.

death

mummy just came back from one relative's funeral in kuching, and she talked about how the whole funeral things goes. and this sudden reminds me of the first funeral ive went. the memory was pretty clear inside my head.

in the middle of the night, dad and mum woke both me and my brother up, i was eight. parents quickly packed a few clothes and told us to get in the car and out of nowhere we were rushing down the road. dad was driving impatiently and furiously fast. i cling tightly to my seatbelt behind watching my dad's uneasy expression and an eight year old girl's thought started pondering.. what.. why..feeling afraid.. but was assured by mum to just fall asleep. the first thing i saw when i woke up is one row of old ancient shophouses. dad braked harshly in front of one small grocery store and jumped out of the car and ran into that store. mummy was also acting quick and hugged me into the store. feeling shocked and what i saw inside the shop was many people was sobbing, surrounds my dad and one bed, lying on it was my grandma. mummy puts me down, gasped and cried. i anxiously looked at her and walked to my dad. my dad was very sad, crying out loud calling grandma. ive never saw my dad acted this way. i went beside him and he hugged me and heaved, 'ahpo.. ahpo.. si liao' (grandma had died) and crying more loudly. i looked at her, my grandma lying expressionless on the bed, dressed in her usual kebaya, she looked as though she is only sleeping but no, she passed away. i hugged my dad and cried with him, uttered 'ah po..' and touched her sleeves, everyone was grieving and mourning for hours. i think i will never forget this scene. it will always be a reminder to me to spread Jesus' love before it's too late.

a funeral is such a sad scene to watch. death is something i do not know back then. do you know what death means? i do now. i believe death on earth means eternal life in heaven, for i believe in Jesus Christ. dont ever look death lightly. it is not the end. spend sometime and think, how do you see death.

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loves

yeayyy! more holidays, i landed in kuala lumpur for another two days to do more shopping and fun! the weather here is really really hot! serious haze somemore, weiiii!?! regardless that, i had my great moments in kl. hee. :) 

 nothing much can do in kl also, shop and eat, eat and shop. 

 this is my first time catching a night view at Twin Tower tho. great view.

 cause i met him! after for so long, so long.. yeah, we finally met dear lemuel zhang yi le.

 a lovely companion in kl when i do travelling, shopping and dining. 

cant wait to go home! especially when you are flying home with your love holding your hand beside you, it feels incredibly, superbly, totally, extremely, indescribably, awesomely awesome. <3 

last one

sunday, the last day in perth. still, enjoying the last moment here. said goodbye to Immanuel Church and bona fide to y'all youngster. you guys are all great man and ladies who serve the Lord faithfully. and so, for my last day here, new friend in church, Albert brought me and sarah to Hillary's to have the famous Little Caesar's pizza for lunch.

 Hillary Boat Harbour

 Little Caesar

 it's an award-winning pizza restaurant. 

 we had four pizzas for three person. how crazy is that. 

 Greek Lamb

 Chicken Fettucine. this is really one of a kind for a pizza. a combination of pasta and pizza. and one oyster pizza, forget to take the close-up for that one. oh weeell..

 another unique pizza. Dessert pizzas. sweet ones. thumbs up to all the pizzas. this is my first time to eat a whole 8 slices of pizza in a time.! crazzyy. i bet it will be my last time as well. heh.

 delicious foooood again for the night. i make a promise to myself after that night. promise me you will never again take any food pictures unless it is very very extraordinary. for i kinda get annoyed as well to have to remind myself to take the pictures before eating. no offense! but yeah, i prefer to take food pictures with a person in it. 

thank y'all for the numerous free lunches and dinner! highly appreciated. :)

 after dinner, lets explore perth a little more bit. we went to Burswood. walked around there for awhile, had a look at the luxurious suites and casino. then went to south perth for a great night view.

 desserts! new shops opened nearby Vic Park. i went home around 11pm and i stay awake the whole night till 4.00am to catch my flight back to kl. aw, i'll miss everything there. i miss it already. i miss you too sarah! 

goodubye!

undone

yoooo..! my 3weeks holidays almost ended! so quick! let's finish eating up and visiting all those places that are yet to have went. so today we went all the way back to Fremantle to eat the famous fish and chips!

 the famous Cicerello's in Perth

 another restaurant that is selling their renowned fish and chips.

 the eating place. alot of seagulls' flying here and there stealing people's leftover! kinda scary tho. 

 again, after lunch we went to City for shopping! 

 the big Apple store.

the biggest apple store ive visited so far. it's like super huge! and guess what, the labelling and remarks of the products is on the ipad and every each of the products has its own ipad to show the details. O.O waddd? and whoever can enter the store and hangout there. their wifi are open to public and whoever can just sit outside the store and play their own gadgets.

 really hao he de bubble teeaaa! i ordered panda milk tea cause i wonder what is it about. it ends up the sago  is in white and black! a good one. then italian food for dinner! 

 Casa del'Amici, very good italian food. it's in Canning Vale.

 really really good i tell you. highly recommended if you guys come to perth. they are really famous for their food. is it me or the food here is like super nice laah. 

King's Park

weather gets really weird nowadays. super sunny in the afternoon and heavy wind plus rain during the evening and night. ive experienced two blackouts in perth. 

 thank God we're still able to go out and explore more in perth! so we came to King's Park. we bought our lunch in Chilliz. and had our little picnic in Synergy Parkland. 

 one of the park in King's Park. There's Botanic Garden, Newlands, Roe Garden and ... more!

 the cheapest yet delicious meal ive ever had in perth! $4.80 for a hot&spicy chicken

 in Synergy Parkland there's a DNA Tower. it's about 1.3km away so we decided to walk there to have a look. but then, we were lost! 

 first pathway that we took. we walked around 50m and found out that this walkway is seriously creepy. no one's there and surround us there's only forest. i was pretty scared for it was a total silence there and the road was like a never ending road. who knows some wild kangaroo jumped in and kill us?! hah! thank God we didnt walk any further and turned back to the park to find the correct walkway. and we think too much! silly girls. 

the correct pathway that we're supposed to take.

 finally! i was tired finding the tower! it was really really far!

 but the view from the top was breathtaking. not bad, worth the walk.

 green green field that it almost looked fake. so we decided to jump for the green! :P

 silly girlsss. 

 Roe Garden. City view. then we drove to Claremont. windowshop for a while and it's time for a high tea. 

 Koko Black

 hot hazelnut chocolate. 

the Queen of Hearts. too sweet for me. but well, once in a time. okay laaaaahh.