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I shared my testimony in the prayer meeting. So why not i shared it here too. :) 

进去神学院接受装备短宣是我从来都没有想过我会做得一件事。感恩的是上帝让我有这个机会让我去经历这么多他的爱。在神学院里当然学习到很多。对我来说有两方面的学习。第一是生命灵命的学习和课业上的学习。我先讲课业上的好了。说真的我觉得很难。我们有很多的课程，例如有灵命塑造，我们在课上学习安静自己，花时间与神亲近。音乐分享，欣赏音乐所创造的美妙历史和带领人来敬拜神，荣耀神。圣经研经法，教导我们如何去查考圣经。诗班，训练我们用音乐来敬拜神。领袖与管家，教导我们每个人都是领导者，要做个有影响力和谦卑的领导者。宣教与布道，教导我们跨文化的宣教历史和需要。护教学，也就是我学习最多的一个课程，教导我们要如何维护我们的信仰，和坚定我们的信心。它让我真的从此也不会再怀疑我们的上帝。

在生命的学习呢，当然是更深层的一个经历。在纪律这方面，我真的学习到很多。我们每一天呢，都是大概430am 起床，515am 早祷会，7am 吃早餐就时候我们需要做工（洗盘，预备食物）我们就没办法早祷会过后回去补眠。8am就开始上课 到12am吃午餐到2pm又开始上课到430pm我们每星期会有一次的园艺和运动。到了晚上又开始上课。拜五呢，我们就会出外布道。Weekend 呢，就是我们去各自的堂会见习，也就是我们去看教会里的运作是怎么样的，和我们从中能学习到什么。我们会去那里的青团，有些得就会去bb/gb, 去那里崇拜，认识那里的牧师，领袖等。大概每一个星期都是这样的重复。感觉很可怕对不对，有吓倒你们吗？

不过，我想说有这两个月的训练才有今天的我。我不能说我现在很好，不过我不一样了。我学习什么叫合一，不管是谁，我们都是神学院的一份子，我们都要同心的一起来祷告，灵修，管理神学院，做上帝的工。像每个拜五的出外布道，牧师神学生短宣生都是一起行动。我们会过后一起用餐彼此交流，分享我们的布道对象。那感觉真的很好，只因我们是同伴，是同路人。我也学习到什么是纪律。我以前很少打扫得。不过在神学院，我们规定每个星期都有个大扫除。所以回到来的时候，只要我看到有不干净，我都会告诉自己，如果我没有清理，就永远不会有人清理它 我就会默默的打扫清理房子。我也学习到什么是把不可能变为可能。在短宣的时候我们碰到National Day of Prayer & Fasting 要40天进食一餐。我从来没有想过我可以每一天进食一餐。而感谢主我却做得到。

我也学习到什么是爱，在神学院里不是一个什么圣盛的地方，它也是一个罪人的地方，但是我们却是一起学习如何去脱离罪成为合神心意的一群人。还有我很爱的苗族，就是我的同伴短宣生，我们14位，每个都是很特别的小孩。少了一位也不行。为什么我会叫他们苗族呢，只因为每当我们讲一句话，比如“你都不在。。” 就会有人唱你不在~当我最需要爱~之类的。所以我们在班上很常会你说一句他唱一句。那时光真的很快乐。我们和牧师们的感情也都很好，他们就好像和我们一样，很可爱，很容易亲近。我印象很深刻的是当我们被差遣要出去短宣的时候，我们需要跪下来在chapel面前和领受智仁牧师的香膏油的时候，就是那么奇妙刚刚好就有14个kneeler给我们。我想说上帝的计划很奇妙，我不会忘记在那里我所学习到这一生的功课。更不会忘记和我一起奋斗的短宣生们。啊啊，我好想他们。 知道大家现在都在外面努力的奋斗，我也在这里，想要继续我们大家当初一起所拥有的热情，为主发光发亮做光做盐。

Truth

I have been searching, and trying.

Sometimes bring hope and sometimes shattered.

But I kept holding on, praying hard,

Knowing God knows what is best.

And then I got confused, I let go.

Sometimes right and sometimes wrong,

Until I see you,

I will never know. 

I feel different, you seem different too.

Sometimes yes and sometimes no,

But what is the matter, wen. 

This is the truth.  

It is okay, I can deal with it. (; 

acquaintance

That particular day when we had a combined prayer meeting, I was feeling rather tired and gloomy. I did not feel like going and i thought i could skipped. So i was dragging my feet to walk back home as i finished class at 5pm, cooked and showered. There i convinced myself to let go of everything and seek God.

With a heavy heart, i went there, sat at the back row, planning to do this in silence. A few minutes before the praise and worship, i thought God must be kidding when the lead asked us to come up front. I had to sit with someone else then. Worse, when it came to prayers, pastor told us to find someone we do not know as we all came from different churches and denominations, to form a small group and pray together. 

That night, was indeed the most tiring and yet wonderful prayer night. Me and jack found this auntie sat in the corner. So we went up to her and form a group. Surprisingly, that auntie was truly adorable and loving. We talked about a lot of things and her enthusiasms and energetic spirits struck me. I was feeling rather ashamed for a 22 year-old young woman who find herself boring and dull. Half way through the prayers, auntie lisa suddenly grabbed my hand and prayed for me. Twice! I was so surprised and touched to have someone being so sweet and concerned about me. After her long prayers, we said amen and i hugged her. She received and gave me a sweet kiss on the cheek! What she did next was even more astonishing, she took off her earrings and gave it to me! I was dumbfounded and eyed at jack for rescue. After a few rounds of elbow pushing, i accepted it with a grateful heart. She said something that i think i will never forget for the rest of my life.

"This is a gift from God, the love from God. I want you to remember tonight, as after tonight, you will be a changed young woman. God is going to use you and I believed that."

When I did not even believe myself, someone who don't know me, a stranger told me these. It was indeed a blessed night. God knows i have struggles within me. But the prayers were so powerful and our God is so real that i experienced Him. 

Auntie lisa, was my little angel that night. She even gave me her contact numbers and made me promised to call her when she came back from her visit to australia. Funny part of the story was, she thought me and jack were a pair. Nonetheless, I am still grateful I went to this prayer meeting and met auntie lisa. 

:/

I dreamed of you.
It feels surreal.
I wished we could stay the same.
It's a pain God says no,
where I can only follow.

I miss you. Can you miss me too?

Different

I am feeling a bit empty and lost.

For all of the sudden I couldn't adapt to this "new" environment.

The inner voice is screaming inside, 

needing for a relief that i couldn't seem to possibly find.

How is this possible,

How can it be,

I know that this is just a period,

where time will heal everything.

But God, I do not know how to response to the world again.

Teach me like how I was back there,

Why am I so sad,

I should have been well equipped.

To be out to the field and fight.

But why do I feel like the odd one out.

One against the world. Being unfashionable. Out of style.

I need to believe You made a difference by being different.

That is why I am different. Right?

It is okay wen, you just miss the people and the lectures. :) 

书

有很多的故事我不能一一的记录下来。有很多背后不为人知的秘密我不能大声地告诉你。有太多的事情我不能解释也不能说明白。有太多的感受我不能表露也不能转递。来得及吗？

我很爱躲在图书馆的某一个角落，安安静静的看我的书。只要一有时间，我都想呆在那里沉溺在我想看的书。我很珍惜这里，只要一想到我应该再也没有机会回到这里看书，我就想立刻把所有我还没看的书都把它读完。我们的人生就像是一本书。在过去的几年里，我写下了什么？在未来的白页里，我又想要写下什么？我都在挣扎想好好的写完一本书。但有的时候，我感觉快要写不下去了。我害怕自己写的不够好，害怕自己不会是一个让人想要翻阅的一本书。最近我都在写反思和心得，所谓的找回自己。课堂上的作业。真的让人一把鼻涕一把泪。是老了吗？还是累了？或许吧。皮肤暗淡，脸色憔悴。救命。

虽然日子忙碌，但很充实。上帝不断的给我机会学习，丰丰富富的加添我许多。更加得珍惜上帝对我的厚爱。满满的恩典。但我还在挣扎，想要揭晓许多的未知数。心里念着它，渴望拥有它。妏，太急了。不要把希望放在不对的地方。原以为我可以发掘的更多，明白的更多。才发现原来是这么的不容易。当我知道的越多的时候，反而让我思考的更多。可以吗？可行吗？复杂。救命。

Search Result

一群‘有问题’的家人。 无聊又好笑的家人。不断养肥我的家人。这里的一个大家庭，我很喜欢。只是时间在跑，有点赶不上。

All is well

I am getting afraid of clicking onto the news online. After four plane crashes, and few disasters happened around Israel and now another incident in Taiwan. Feeling rather emotional. Life. What will happen next, we will never know. But what is wrong here? What is God telling us through these accidents. What is happening now? I have been thinking.

Have you ever thought of doing something before it is too late? Like just do it wen, you don't know if you will have tomorrow. Everyday we live as though we will wake up tomorrow. We are sleeping soundly everyday worrying only what to eat or wear tomorrow. But we thought, what could we do? We can't possibly fly over to Taiwan and help the victims. We can't keep in touch with the victims' family and give them words of comfort. We said we were in great sorrow and felt for them, pray for them. Do we really know how they feel? I doubt myself. We are vulnerable. Life is. I do not know why do God let this happened. Why do they suffer. I cannot understand the big plan God is pursuing.

To think about being too late. I had a urge to express all my feelings and do what i think i wanted to the other day. But i held back. I am afraid of regrets. But I am afraid of making mistakes more. I had a bad day. Not a bad day per se, but I was feeling a bit tired. Tired of why do I always denying and rejecting the holy spirit working through me. There were times when i knew exactly what i should do, and what should be taken care of. Just why did i choose to ignore. I was so angry at myself. Feeling very stupid when i know things would be different if i was decisive enough. I deserved all these. I am not worthy, i thought to myself.

Why do God treat me so well. That you see, His plans are always extraordinary. He did the best thing when we least expected. When i thought i was being punished, for not listening to Him, He showed mercy and gave me another chance. I was evermore grateful for having such a gracious Lord. Though the time is near, decisions have to be made, but i want to wait. And i know i need to wait...

A month passed by, it is August already. So fast! I am starting to feel a bit sad that all these are going to end very soon. oh no, I think i am starting to miss the life here already! :( Cherishing and appreciating every single thing that happened here.

我的喜乐泉源. Love love all of them to bits. We thought that the numbers of smts students coming in were really few. But God has amazing plan. The loveliest people ever. Each and everyone of them are perfectly fit into the group. Everyone plays a role and completed us all. No less no more. Just perfect. :)

I was freaked out when i was asked to play a mix match with Rev Tie against Rev Ting. But it was my first and also the greatest ping pong tournament ever. Rev Tie is my "Papa" in my family group, being all nice and encouraging but yet has a bit of cold humor in him. Encouraged me whenever the ball went off and said it's okay, just a bit more! You can do this! Good ball! Woots! Cheers were all over the place, very uplifting!

Many events are coming up as you can see it's been a while since i last update any stuff on the net. I enjoy every exposure in every churches, fellowship and evangelism. Especially during evangelism, I am very happy i am gaining these new experiences. Things are getting a bit packed but all is well. God is good.