Dad

I miss my dad.

He is the typical kind of daddy. He doesn't smoke but he would drink a little together with mummy when he's in the mood. He doesnt know how to say i love you but he always provides us with things that we need and want. He doesnt know how to take care of us and always scolded us when we get sick but he would immediately go all the way to town and buy medicine for us. He doesnt know how to talk but he would always wanted to know more about us until at one time he complained to my mum that i didnt call back home for a long time already. Aw. :)

He may not be the smartest dad or the richest dad, but he's always at his best in making the family laugh and be happy. Look how cute he is in selfie. :P and look at those wrinkles and white hair, makes me feel so sad and reminds me that he's getting really old. I am still not able to give it back to him even if i wanted to. I am still not able to say dad, don worry, let me take care of this. All i can do is to pray and stop worrying him with little things. I feel so sad when i listened to his voice moments ago. He got sick and i feel so bad that i couldnt do anything to help. It was funny but sweet tho, that it's my turn now to scold him back for getting sick. I know how it feels now. My family is my weakness. I can bear with all other pains and sufferings but not my family if someone else is trying to say things about them or hurt them. Until at one point I can just talk about my family and cry every single time because they are so dear to me.

So dear God, please do not take away my dad before he knows you. Please please touch his heart with your holy spirit and shower him with love. Rinse away all his wrongs and bring him back to you. I believe my purpose in Your hand that you place me in this family to be the light and salt. I have strong faith in You O'Lord, to wait until that one day we all will be in the church to worship You and praise You. Amen.

你懂得爱吗?

那天，有个将踏入婚姻的朋友跟我们述说了他与她的故事
论到求婚，筹备婚姻，酒席，我们女生 就兴奋了起来
谈论该去哪里蜜月旅行啊 拍婚纱照呀 喜宴啊 等等 等等
一副很有经验的样子 告诉他女孩梦寐以求 想往的婚姻样式
说的如此如此的美好 似童话般公主与王子的浪漫
朋友就一副 害羞 cool cool 的尴尬傻笑了

我，并没有单身的恩赐
我还很想往披上美丽雪白的婚纱
盼望拥有一个温暖的家
喜欢那一个人会因为拥有你而感到骄傲
欣赏那一个人的努力让你过着幸福快乐的生活

箴言31：10-12
她的儿女起来称她为福，她的丈夫也称赞她说:
才德的女子很多，唯独你超过一切.
Aaah, 如果女孩被男孩这么称赞 真的是超级无敌浪漫的啦啦啦

然而，我们都忘了 真实的爱
时间久了 我们总想去改变一个人 改变成为你所想往的那一个人
又或者 我们总是想改变自己 成为他所喜欢的那一个人
你反复的看自己，问自己 是你的问题吗 到底对不对？
爱的不单纯 反成了压力和枷锁
我们并不是不爱 而是因为太爱 太喜欢 太在意
而忘了怎么去爱 爱的不完全

我想起了你 曾经豁出去的爱
我曾经对自己很有信心 我第一次的恋爱不会失败 因为我等候了
可惜我错了 因为我不懂得那所谓上帝说的 完全的爱 无私的爱
但我相信 上帝想让我们重新学习爱 这功课是个大大的祝福
哥林多前书 13 所说的 爱的真谛
在上帝里的爱 找回自己 懂得爱的自由

我并没有放弃爱情 我只是再等候那双倍的爱情 祂和他的爱情 :)

勇敢

"谢谢你 因为你很勇敢
你提醒了我每次 都该好好去做每一件事
你常常有股活力 能够感染身边的人，
而我觉得它是上帝给你的恩赐."

这几句话 让我想起上帝许多次的给我机会 来荣耀祂的名
许多得来不易的教导和教训
而我却很常觉得自己总是 处在软弱的情况下
从以前到现在 我都会每次上台过后 留下小小的遗憾
总说我其实可以做的更好
所以 当得到许许多多身边的人的称赞的时候
我都不愿意承认 我都告诉大家 我其实很软弱
常常因为这样 就忽略了上帝给我的恩典

还记得 你曾经对我说，
你知道吗？只有懂得自己软弱的人
才懂得上帝的大能，才懂得享受上帝的爱
我记在心里 因为我必夸我的软弱 好叫上帝的能力覆庇我
在神的能力上显得完全
我要守护着这股spirit 用生命去影响生命
感谢父神常常 在我最难过的时候
透过我身边的人 告诉我 一切都在主的掌管之中
祂，真的在乎我. :)

公主

我常说：我不是公主
但这些经历让我发现，我是你的公主

我什么都不想做的时候，你总会愿意做
把我的需要看成你的需要
为我张罗，把我放在心上
有时间就约我，好吃的总爱分给我
美的就买给我，有话就告诉我
在我的担心与问题上，真心提供意见，给我安慰
在我期待与梦想中，认真与我分享过程，一起筑梦
把我的幸福看为你的幸福

那天，上帝告诉我，公主只管开开心心，漂漂亮亮，自然而然就好
我就会让他看见你
然后他就会知道：就是你
当他跟我确认，勇敢地前来争取时
这一切就成了！

感谢阿爸，让我拥有这个身份
拥有被捧在掌心上的一个生命，
我期待自己是个称职美丽的公主
好让我父为我骄傲.

Gift

'Teach them to obey everything i have commanded you, and surely I am always with you to the end of the age.' Matt 28:20 

God sees everything good or bad as beautiful and are able to turn it into a blessings. I went to Nick Vujicic's video testimony last friday, invited one of my closest friend in uni to watch his wonderful testimony. We went in with a blank pieces of paper, were told to write three points on 'I am distinctly beautiful because...' If you were to asked by this particular question too, what would you say? think about it. :) My answers were,

I am distinctly beautiful because,

1. I'm not a person with a disability nor face defect.

2. I have a loving family who is proud of me.

3. I'm God's precious daughter.

Life is real, but yet life may not be as beautiful as you think. No matter how much you've wanted or planned your life to be. To have a nice house, to own a cool car, to have a family, to marry a great husband and have kids, to live your life working the career you've always dreamed of, life is still not perfect. Everything will be passed just like that, like you're in a LIVE show, and you couldnt have a rewind or a pause. You gotta move into another show.

And God is real too, more real than you could've imagined. You may say i cannot see, i cannot feel, i cannot touch, but He always are able to show Himself in life to tell us that He is incredibly in love with you and hope you realized that. Each and everyone of us could live and pursue a better life, but why dont we opt for a beautiful one when it is right there before you to say yes to that amazing gift. Focusing on temporary things will only give you temporary happiness, why dont search for an eternal ones. Go, and find out. Find out where's your happiness. Search and look if Jesus Christ is working for you. Remember, God has a purpose for us and this world to live a beautiful life till the end.

ps. 我将这本书送给你，希望你能从GIFT里每天从祂话语中得到那份活着的力量. 生日快乐．(:

Time

Blessed is the man who remains steadfast under trial, for when he has stood the test he will receive the crown of life, which God has promised to those who love him. James 1:12

It doesnt bother me that much anymore. Although it somehow still will. I would still even dream of it. But i told myself, i shouldnt be thinking of the past anymore. I had a deal with myself. I'm letting it go. I'm getting over it. Fingers crossed.

For the past few weeks, ive been occupied with stuff, lots of stuff. Uni, church, friends, and spiritual self. I admitted that ive been taking up things to make myself busy. Though, im happily working on every single thing, i still complained on how little 'me' time to have a cup of nice coffee when i have to involved in all these activities. Life has been pretty hectic. But i'm contented. and a little selfish for not wanting to bother anyone else but myself. 

And then i realized, i needed a change. I know i'm the idiot here and thank you to all of you who chose to bear with me till the end. Or maybe perhaps that is why, i needed to be good. Im having this thought that i hope for the good memories to stay and to forget the bad ones. God is good, it's just that i barely hear from Him yet. I will when it's time. 

There's nothing to be not happy. God is with you. So let it be. :)

Maturity

When i do not know what to do, what to say and which to decide, I flustered. I was in a total confusion. I was in the state of being weak. I needed hope. I needed maturity. Spiritual maturity.

I needed to get away with all the childish act and naive thoughts. I got to tell you that, i need a break from it. I need you to control your emotions before you talk. It is when we can sit down and talk about everything, properly. Honor each other, relate to and think for each other. Let us see what God sees, feel what God feels and think positively. I wish we could pray for everything, take things slowly, see properly what God wants us to do. Be it the ending is not what we always wanted, I want to commit all to God. Put Him in priority and believe in His will. I wish we could pray every single time together after we finished a discussion. I wish we always put God in the picture and believe He will make a way. Maturity is what we needed in a godly relationship. 

When we put God first, all other things will fall into their proper place. 

Matt 6:33 But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.